| Aired: | 12.03.1994 (5 / 15) |
| Roseanne | ... | Rosie O'Donnell |
| Ellen Cleghorne | ... | secretary (voice) |
| Chris Farley | ... | Tom Arnold |
| Janeane Garofalo | ... | Madonna |
| Michael McKean | ... | producer |
| Michael McKean | ... | announcer (voice) |
| Tim Meadows | ... | Antoine |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | priest |
| David Spade | ... | producer |