| Cold Opening | Operation Pedophile Not |
| Sketch | Phil McCracken, Scottish Therapist |
| Sketch | Sexy Cakes |
| Musical Performance | "Shoop" |
| Show | The Love Boat: The Next Generation |
| Sketch | Hell |
| Musical Performance | "Whatta Man" |
| Show | Show & Tell |
| Show | It's Not Their Fault |
| Cold Opening | Operation Pedophile Not |
| Ellen Cleghorne | ... | patron |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Ted |
| Tim Meadows | ... | Michael Jackson Live |
| Julia Sweeney | ... | Theresa |
| Sarah Silverman | ... | patron |
| Sketch | Phil McCracken, Scottish Therapist |
| Chris Farley | ... | customer |
| Tim Meadows | ... | customer |
| Mike Myers | ... | Stuart Rankin |
| Sketch | Sexy Cakes |
| Tim Meadows | ... | customer |
| Rob Schneider | ... | customer |
| David Spade | ... | customer |
| Julia Sweeney | ... | customer |
| Show | The Love Boat: The Next Generation |
| Ellen Cleghorne | ... | Whoopi Goldberg /Guinan |
| Chris Farley | ... | Number One |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Worf |
| Melanie Hutsell | ... | Charo |
| Tim Meadows | ... | Geordi La Forge |
| Adam Sandler | ... | David Brenner |
| Rob Schneider | ... | Data |
| David Spade | ... | Joan Rivers |
| Julia Sweeney | ... | Deanna Troi |
| Al Franken | ... | Togg |
| Akira Yoshimura | ... | Mr. Sulu |
| Commercial |
| Chris Farley | ... | officer |
| Tim Meadows | ... | priest |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | detective |
| Adam Sandler | ... | Bill Cosby |
| Julia Sweeney | ... | witness |
| Show | Show & Tell |
| Ellen Cleghorne | ... | Joycelyn Elders |
| Chris Farley | ... | child |
| Phil Hartman | ... | announcer Voice |
| Melanie Hutsell | ... | child |
| Tim Meadows | ... | child |
| David Spade | ... | Tony |
| Sarah Silverman | ... | child |
| Show | It's Not Their Fault |
| Phil Hartman | ... | announcer Voice |
| Melanie Hutsell | ... | Tonya Harding |
| Julia Sweeney | ... | Leslie Abramson |
| Show | The Love Boat: The Next Generation |
| Ellen Cleghorne | ... | Whoopi Goldberg#3 /Guinan |
| Melanie Hutsell | ... | Charo |
| Adam Sandler | ... | David Brenner#2 |
| David Spade | ... | Joan Rivers |
| Show | It's Not Their Fault |
| Cold Opening | Operation Pedophile Not |
| Patrick Stewart | ... | Andy Jensen |
| Ellen Cleghorne | ... | patron |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Ted |
| Tim Meadows | ... | Michael Jackson#1 Live |
| Julia Sweeney | ... | Theresa |
| Sarah Silverman | ... | patron |
| Rudy Ruggiero | ... | patron |
⁕The establishing shot of the China Club was later used for various Roxbury Guys sketches.
| Sketch | Phil McCracken, Scottish Therapist |
| Patrick Stewart | ... | Phil McCracken |
| Chris Farley | ... | customer |
| Tim Meadows | ... | customer |
| Mike Myers | ... | Stuart Rankin#4 |
| Sketch | Sexy Cakes |
| Patrick Stewart | ... | clerk |
| Tim Meadows | ... | customer |
| Rob Schneider | ... | customer |
| David Spade | ... | customer |
| Julia Sweeney | ... | customer |
| Show | The Love Boat: The Next Generation |
| Patrick Stewart | ... | Captain Jean-Luc Picard |
| Bernie Kopell | ... | Doc |
| Ellen Cleghorne | ... | Whoopi Goldberg#3 /Guinan |
| Chris Farley | ... | Number One |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Worf |
| Melanie Hutsell | ... | Charo |
| Tim Meadows | ... | Geordi La Forge |
| Adam Sandler | ... | David Brenner#2 |
| Rob Schneider | ... | Data |
| David Spade | ... | Joan Rivers |
| Julia Sweeney | ... | Deanna Troi |
| Al Franken | ... | Togg |
| Akira Yoshimura | ... | Mr. Sulu#2 |
♬"Star Trek: The Next Generation" Theme
♬"The Love Boat" Theme
| Commercial |
| Patrick Stewart | ... | professor |
| John Henry Kurtz | ... | announcer Voice |
| Chris Farley | ... | officer |
| Tim Meadows | ... | priest |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | detective |
| Adam Sandler | ... | Bill Cosby#2 |
| Julia Sweeney | ... | witness |
♬Charles Mingus - "Boogie Stop Shuffle"
| Sketch | Hell |
| Patrick Stewart | ... | Satan |
| Rob Schneider | ... | servant |
| David Spade | ... | servant |
| Norm MacDonald | ... | servant |
| Show | Show & Tell |
| Patrick Stewart | ... | Dr. Ian Menchenson |
| Ellen Cleghorne | ... | Joycelyn Elders#1 |
| Chris Farley | ... | child |
| Phil Hartman | ... | announcer Voice |
| Melanie Hutsell | ... | child |
| Tim Meadows | ... | child |
| David Spade | ... | Tony |
| Sarah Silverman | ... | child |
| Show | It's Not Their Fault |
| Patrick Stewart | ... | Slobodan Milosevic |
| Phil Hartman | ... | announcer Voice |
| Melanie Hutsell | ... | Tonya Harding#2 |
| Julia Sweeney | ... | Leslie Abramson#2 |
| Total Appearances | Characters | Impressions | Voices | Stills | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Patrick Stewart | 9 | 1 | |||
| Salt-N-Pepa | 2 | ||||
| Bernie Kopell | 1 | ||||
| John Henry Kurtz | 1 | 1 | |||
| Ellen Cleghorne | 3 | 2 | |||
| Chris Farley | 4 | ||||
| Phil Hartman | 4 | 2 | |||
| Melanie Hutsell | 3 | 2 | |||
| Tim Meadows | 6 | 1 | |||
| Mike Myers | 1 | 1 | |||
| Kevin Nealon | 2 | ||||
| Adam Sandler | 2 | 2 | |||
| Rob Schneider | 3 | ||||
| David Spade | 4 | 1 | |||
| Julia Sweeney | 5 | 1 | |||
| Al Franken | 1 | ||||
| Norm MacDonald | 1 | ||||
| Jay Mohr | |||||
| Sarah Silverman | 2 | ||||
| Akira Yoshimura | 1 | 1 | |||
| Rudy Ruggiero | 1 | ||||
| 56 | 2 | 10 | 3 |