| Weekend Update |
| Amy Poehler | ... | announcer Voice |
| Jimmy Fallon | ||
| Tina Fey | ||
| Will Forte | ... | Tim Calhoun |
| Tracy Morgan |
Commentary on affirmative action | |
| Jimmy Fallon |
Joke-offNaked airline | |
| Eric Slovin | ... | burglar |
⁕Tim Calhoun's commentary originally appeared at the 12.14.2002 dress rehearsal.