| Show | Action 8 News Watch |
| Jerry Seinfeld | ... | Connor Stands |
| Will Ferrell | ... | Roger Sorkin |
| Ana Gasteyer | ... | Taffy Davenport |
| Tim Meadows | ... | Sorrell Matthews |
| Chris Parnell | ... | Hale Breezy |
| Chris Parnell | ... | announcer Voice |
⁕Taffy Davenport is the name of the main character in the John Waters film "Female Trouble".