| Cold Opening | Scratch Ticket |
| Musical Performance | "Insane In The Brain" |
| Game Show | Is It Date Rape? |
| Sketch | The Relapse Guy |
| Sketch | Dressing Room |
| Sketch | Salem Bitch Trials |
| Musical Performance | "I Ain't Goin' Out Like That" |
| Miscellaneous | A Message from Michael Eisner |
| Show |
| Ellen Cleghorne | ... | Tammy |
| Melanie Hutsell | ... | Becky |
| Tim Meadows | ... | Jeremy |
| Mike Myers | ... | Brian Kelley |
| Adam Sandler | ... | Anthony |
| Rob Schneider | ... | Tookeet |
| David Spade | ... | Bill |
| Jim Downey | ... | announcer Voice |
| Show |
| Chris Farley | ... | Darryl Fitzsimmons |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Brian's father Voice |
| Tim Meadows | ... | caller Voice |
| Adam Sandler | ... | Brian |
| Norm MacDonald | ... | Denise's boyfriend Voice |
| Jim Downey | ... | announcer Voice |
| Weekend Update |
| Kevin Nealon | ||
| Rob Schneider |
Wacky Sports Bloopers | |
| Tim Meadows | ... | Ike Turner |
| Game Show | Is It Date Rape? |
| Ellen Cleghorne | ... | date rape player |
| Chris Farley | ... | Mark Strobel |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Dean Frederick Whitcomb |
| Melanie Hutsell | ... | date rape player |
| Tim Meadows | ... | date rape player |
| Mike Myers | ... | date rape player |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
| Sketch | The Relapse Guy |
| Ellen Cleghorne | ... | nurse |
| Chris Farley | ... | Scott |
| Phil Hartman | ... | father |
| Tim Meadows | ... | counselor |
| Mike Myers | ... | Jack |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Richard Rawlins |
| Rob Schneider | ... | Dr. Endicott |
| Julia Sweeney | ... | mother |
| Sketch | Salem Bitch Trials |
| Chris Farley | ... | Samuel Well |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Governor Danforth |
| Phil Hartman | ... | narrator Voice |
| Melanie Hutsell | ... | Sarah Williams |
| Mike Myers | ... | Mercken |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Nathaniel Wilson |
| Adam Sandler | ... | townsperson |
| Rob Schneider | ... | crier |
| David Spade | ... | blacksmith |
| Julia Sweeney | ... | Mary Putnam |
| Tom Davis | ... | bailiff |
| Monologue |
| Shannen Doherty | ||
| Ashley Hamilton | ||
| Norm MacDonald | ... | caterer |
| Tom Schiller | ... | photographer |
| Ryan Shiraki | ... | guest |
| Show |
| Shannen Doherty | ... | Suzanne |
| Ellen Cleghorne | ... | Tammy |
| Melanie Hutsell | ... | Becky |
| Tim Meadows | ... | Jeremy |
| Mike Myers | ... | Brian Kelley |
| Adam Sandler | ... | Anthony |
| Rob Schneider | ... | Tookeet |
| David Spade | ... | Bill |
| Jim Downey | ... | announcer Voice |
| Show |
| Shannen Doherty | ... | Denise |
| Chris Farley | ... | Darryl Fitzsimmons |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Brian's father Voice |
| Tim Meadows | ... | caller Voice |
| Adam Sandler | ... | Brian |
| Norm MacDonald | ... | Denise's boyfriend Voice |
| Jim Downey | ... | announcer Voice |
| Weekend Update |
| Kevin Nealon | ||
| Rob Schneider |
Wacky Sports Bloopers | |
| Tim Meadows | ... | Ike Turner |
| Game Show | Is It Date Rape? |
| Shannen Doherty | ... | Ariel Helpenstraus |
| Ellen Cleghorne | ... | date rape player |
| Chris Farley | ... | Mark Strobel |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Dean Frederick Whitcomb |
| Melanie Hutsell | ... | date rape player |
| Tim Meadows | ... | date rape player |
| Mike Myers | ... | date rape player |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
| Sketch | The Relapse Guy |
| Shannen Doherty | ... | Sheila |
| Ellen Cleghorne | ... | nurse |
| Chris Farley | ... | Scott |
| Phil Hartman | ... | father |
| Tim Meadows | ... | counselor |
| Mike Myers | ... | Jack |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Richard Rawlins |
| Rob Schneider | ... | Dr. Endicott |
| Julia Sweeney | ... | mother |
| Sketch | Salem Bitch Trials |
| Shannen Doherty | ... | Abigail Wolcott |
| Chris Farley | ... | Samuel Well |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Governor Danforth |
| Phil Hartman | ... | narrator Voice |
| Melanie Hutsell | ... | Sarah Williams |
| Mike Myers | ... | Mercken |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Nathaniel Wilson |
| Adam Sandler | ... | townsperson |
| Rob Schneider | ... | crier |
| David Spade | ... | blacksmith |
| Julia Sweeney | ... | Mary Putnam |
| Tom Davis | ... | bailiff |
| Andy Murphy | ... | townsperson |
| Miscellaneous | A Message from Michael Eisner |
⁕This sketch originally appeared at the 09.25.1993 dress rehearsal.
| Total Appearances | Characters | Impressions | Voices | Stills | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Shannen Doherty | 7 | ||||
| Cypress Hill | 2 | ||||
| Ashley Hamilton | 1 | ||||
| Ellen Cleghorne | 3 | ||||
| Chris Farley | 4 | 1 | |||
| Phil Hartman | 7 | 1 | 2 | ||
| Melanie Hutsell | 3 | ||||
| Tim Meadows | 6 | 1 | 1 | ||
| Mike Myers | 5 | ||||
| Kevin Nealon | 4 | ||||
| Adam Sandler | 4 | 2 | |||
| Rob Schneider | 4 | ||||
| David Spade | 2 | ||||
| Julia Sweeney | 3 | ||||
| Al Franken | |||||
| Norm MacDonald | 2 | 1 | |||
| Tom Davis | 1 | ||||
| Joe Dicso | 1 | ||||
| Jim Downey | 2 | 2 | |||
| Don Pardo | 1 | 1 | |||
| Tom Schiller | 1 | ||||
| Ryan Shiraki | 1 | ||||
| Andy Murphy | 1 | ||||
| 65 | 3 | 2 | 7 |