| Cold Opening | Press Conference |
| Monologue | “Jack Of All Trades” |
| Sketch | The Big Bitch BullDyke Bustout of '89 |
| Show | Honey, I Shrunk Hans & Franz |
| Musical Performance | "Satellites" |
| Sketch | Resorts International Hotel |
| Sketch | Wild Horse |
| Musical Performance | "Ghetto Of My Mind" |
| Sketch | New Commissioner “A. Bartlett Giamatti” |
| Sketch | Baby Talk |
| Game Show | Word Busters |
| Monologue | “Jack Of All Trades” |
| Sketch | The Big Bitch BullDyke Bustout of '89 |
| Nora Dunn | ... | Leona Helmsley |
| Phil Hartman | ... | cashier |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Tammy Faye Bakker |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | Zsa Zsa Gabor |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | customer |
| Weekend Update |
| Dennis Miller | ||
| Kevin Nealon | ... |
Mr. Subliminal
Commentary on Manuel Noriega |
| Phil Hartman | ||
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Frenchy /the man you love to hate |
| Sketch | Resorts International Hotel |
| Dana Carvey | ... | patron |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Donald Trump |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Ivana Trump |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | patron |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | patron |
| A. Whitney Brown | ... | patron |
| Bonnie Turner | ... | patron |
| Christine Zander | ... | patron |
| Sketch | Wild Horse |
| Nora Dunn | ... | Ms. Parsons |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Chet Masters |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | cowboy |
| Mike Myers | ... | indian boy |
| Sketch | New Commissioner “A. Bartlett Giamatti” |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Fay Vincent |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | spokesperson |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Fred Wilpon |
| Sketch | Baby Talk |
| Nora Dunn | ... | patron |
| Jan Hooks | ... | patron |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | patron |
| Bob Odenkirk | ... | bartender |
| Christine Zander | ... | patron |
| Game Show | Word Busters |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Gil Manavan |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Cheri Carter |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | model |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Steve Hoglund |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Richard Chamberlain |
| Mike Myers | ... | Mark Linn-Baker |
| Jim Downey | ... | announcer Voice |
| Don Pardo | Voice |
| Sketch | The Big Bitch BullDyke Bustout of '89 |
| Joel Godard | ... | epilogue narrator Voice |
| John Henry Kurtz | ... | announcer Voice |
| Sketch | The Big Bitch BullDyke Bustout of '89 |
| Rick Moranis | ... | Jim Bakker |
| Nora Dunn | ... | Leona Helmsley#2 |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Tammy Faye Bakker#3 |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | Zsa Zsa Gabor |
| Sketch | Resorts International Hotel |
| Rick Moranis | ... | Merv Griffin |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Donald Trump#2 |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Ivana Trump#2 |
| Sketch | New Commissioner “A. Bartlett Giamatti” |
| Cold Opening | Press Conference |
| Rick Moranis | ... | Jackie Mason Live |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
| Monologue | “Jack Of All Trades” |
| Rick Moranis | ||
| Nora Dunn | ||
| Jon Lovitz | ||
| Jennifer Aspinall | ||
| Robert Caminiti | ||
| Alex Foster | ||
| Kiki Kazanas | ||
| Terry Rohnke | ||
| G.E. Smith | ||
| Dave Wilson |
⁕In reruns, some portions are replaced with the dress rehearsal version.
| Sketch | The Big Bitch BullDyke Bustout of '89 |
| Rick Moranis | ... | Jim Bakker |
| Joel Godard | ... | epilogue narrator Voice |
| John Henry Kurtz | ... | announcer Voice |
| Nora Dunn | ... | Leona Helmsley#2 |
| Phil Hartman | ... | cashier |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Tammy Faye Bakker#3 |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | Zsa Zsa Gabor |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | customer |
⁕In reruns, several edits are made to improve pacing, and the freeze frame behind the closing epilogue is changed.
| Musical Performance | "Satellites" |
| Weekend Update |
| Dennis Miller | ||
| Kevin Nealon | ... |
Mr. Subliminal#3
Commentary on Manuel Noriega |
| Phil Hartman | ||
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Frenchy /the man you love to hate |
♬David Bowie - "Hang on to Yourself"
| Sketch | Resorts International Hotel |
| Rick Moranis | ... | Merv Griffin |
| Dana Carvey | ... | patron |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Donald Trump#2 |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Ivana Trump#2 |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | patron |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | patron |
| A. Whitney Brown | ... | patron |
| Bonnie Turner | ... | patron |
| Christine Zander | ... | patron |
⁕In reruns, some portions are replaced with the dress rehearsal version.
♬Dizzy Gillespie - "That'S All"
| Sketch | Wild Horse |
| Rick Moranis | ... | Jimmy |
| Nora Dunn | ... | Ms. Parsons |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Chet Masters |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | cowboy |
| Mike Myers | ... | indian boy |
⁕In reruns, the shot of Phil Hartman riding the horse is replaced with the dress rehearsal version. In the live show, the boom microphone is visible.
| Musical Performance | "Ghetto Of My Mind" |
| Sketch | New Commissioner “A. Bartlett Giamatti” |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Fay Vincent |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | spokesperson |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Fred Wilpon |
| Sketch | Baby Talk |
| Rick Moranis | ... | patron |
| Nora Dunn | ... | patron |
| Jan Hooks | ... | patron |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | patron |
| Bob Odenkirk | ... | bartender |
| Christine Zander | ... | patron |
⁕In reruns, some portions are replaced with the dress rehearsal version.
| Game Show | Word Busters |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Gil Manavan |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Cheri Carter |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | model |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Steve Hoglund |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Richard Chamberlain |
| Mike Myers | ... | Mark Linn-Baker |
| Jim Downey | ... | announcer Voice |
| Don Pardo | Voice |
⁕In reruns, some portions are replaced with the dress rehearsal version.
♬Jack Dorsey - "Hurry"
| Total Appearances | Characters | Impressions | Voices | Stills | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Rick Moranis | 7 | 3 | |||
| Rickie Lee Jones | 2 | ||||
| Patti Austin | 2 | ||||
| Jeff Pevar | 2 | ||||
| John Robinson | 2 | ||||
| Neil Stubenhaus | 2 | ||||
| Joel Godard | 1 | 1 | |||
| John Henry Kurtz | 1 | 1 | |||
| Dana Carvey | 2 | 1 | |||
| Nora Dunn | 4 | 1 | |||
| Phil Hartman | 6 | 2 | |||
| Jan Hooks | 4 | 2 | |||
| Victoria Jackson | 4 | 1 | |||
| Jon Lovitz | 6 | ||||
| Dennis Miller | 1 | ||||
| Kevin Nealon | 5 | 2 | 2 | ||
| A. Whitney Brown | 1 | ||||
| Mike Myers | 2 | 1 | |||
| Jennifer Aspinall | 1 | ||||
| Robert Caminiti | 1 | ||||
| Jim Downey | 1 | 1 | |||
| Alex Foster | 1 | ||||
| Cheryl Hardwick | 2 | ||||
| Kiki Kazanas | 1 | ||||
| Bob Odenkirk | 1 | ||||
| Don Pardo | 2 | 2 | |||
| Terry Rohnke | 1 | ||||
| G.E. Smith | 3 | ||||
| Bonnie Turner | 1 | ||||
| Dave Wilson | 1 | ||||
| Christine Zander | 2 | ||||
| 72 | 3 | 12 | 5 |