| Sketch | Bullets Aren't Cheap |
| Steve Martin | ... | James Bond |
| Sting | ... | Goldsting |
| Nora Dunn | ... | Miss Moneypenny |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Gregory |
| Jan Hooks | ... | date |
| Victoria Jackson | ||
| Jon Lovitz | ... | M |
| Cheryl Hardwick | ... | pianist |
| Roger Caine | ... | guest |
⁕The casino scene is replaced with the dress rehearsal version in reruns.
♬George Martin - James Bond Theme
♬John Barry - "007"