| Cold Opening | Affair |
| Sketch | Dinner at the Van Halen's |
| Sketch | Hard News Cafe |
| Musical Performance | "Smoking Gun" |
| Musical Performance | "Stompin' 8H" |
| Show | Let's Go To The Movies |
| Show | On Broadway “The King and I” |
| Sketch | Opera Singer Doctor |
| Musical Performance | "Right Next Door" |
| Cold Opening | Affair |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Ronald Reagan Live |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Nancy Reagan |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Don Regan |
| Commercial |
| Jan Hooks | ... | cashier |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | cashier |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | truck driver |
| Al Franken | ... | announcer Voice |
| Sketch | Dinner at the Van Halen's |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Scott |
| Phil Hartman | ... | guest |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | guest |
| Dennis Miller | ... | roadie |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | roadie |
| Sketch | Hard News Cafe |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Ted Koppel |
| Nora Dunn | ... | waitress |
| Phil Hartman | ... | patron |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | hostess |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | patron |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Sam Donaldson |
| Tom Davis | ... | Geraldo Rivera Voice |
| Weekend Update |
| Dennis Miller | ||
| Dana Carvey | ... | David Lee Roth |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Scott Bergen /contest winner |
| Kevin Nealon |
Life LessonsTaxes |
| Musical Performance | "Stompin' 8H" |
| Show | On Broadway “The King and I” |
| Nora Dunn | ... | Nina Treadway |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Ross Treadway |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Brenda Krauss |
| Sketch | Opera Singer Doctor |
| Dana Carvey | ... | patient |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Gini Nivianni |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Dr. Lieberman |
| A. Whitney Brown | ... | patient |
| Cold Opening | Affair |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Ronald Reagan#2 Live |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Nancy Reagan#1 |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Don Regan |
| Sketch | Hard News Cafe |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Ted Koppel#2 |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Sam Donaldson#1 |
| Tom Davis | ... | Geraldo Rivera Voice |
| Cold Opening | Affair |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Ronald Reagan#2 Live |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Nancy Reagan#1 |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Don Regan |
⁕In reruns, the portion when Phil Hartman is out of the room is replaced with the dress rehearsal version.
| Commercial |
| Jan Hooks | ... | cashier |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | cashier |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | truck driver |
| Al Franken | ... | announcer Voice |
| Sketch | Dinner at the Van Halen's |
| Valerie Bertinelli | ||
| Eddie Van Halen | ||
| Dana Carvey | ... | Scott |
| Phil Hartman | ... | guest |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | guest |
| Dennis Miller | ... | roadie |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | roadie |
| Sketch | Hard News Cafe |
| Valerie Bertinelli | ... | patron |
| Edwin Newman | ||
| Dana Carvey | ... | Ted Koppel#2 |
| Nora Dunn | ... | waitress |
| Phil Hartman | ... | patron |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | hostess |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | patron |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Sam Donaldson#1 |
| Tom Davis | ... | Geraldo Rivera Voice |
| Weekend Update |
| Dennis Miller | ||
| Dana Carvey | ... | David Lee Roth |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Scott Bergen /contest winner |
| Kevin Nealon |
Life LessonsTaxes |
♬Black Sabbath - "War Pigs"
♬David Lee Roth - "Yankee Rose"
| Sketch |
| Valerie Bertinelli | ... | customer |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Ching Change#3 |
| Nora Dunn | ... | Loose Change#1 |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | customer |
| Musical Performance | "Stompin' 8H" |
| Show | Let's Go To The Movies |
| Valerie Bertinelli | ... | Chrissy Wilson |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Bobbi Osgood |
| Robert Smigel | ... | announcer Voice |
♬Ethel Merman - "There's No Business Like Show Business"
| Show | On Broadway “The King and I” |
| Nora Dunn | ... | Nina Treadway |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Ross Treadway |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Brenda Krauss |
♬Deborah Kerr - "Getting To Know You"
| Sketch | Opera Singer Doctor |
| Valerie Bertinelli | ... | nurse |
| Dana Carvey | ... | patient |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Gini Nivianni |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Dr. Lieberman |
| A. Whitney Brown | ... | patient |
⁕Jon Lovitz accidentally says "I came a... I became a doctor instead." This is corrected in reruns.
| Musical Performance | "Right Next Door" |
⁕In reruns, this performance appears before the preceding sketch, and Valerie Bertinelli's introduction is replaced with the dress rehearsal version. In the live show, she is wearing her nurse costume from that sketch.
| Total Appearances | Characters | Impressions | Voices | Stills | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Valerie Bertinelli | 6 | ||||
| The Robert Cray Band | 2 | ||||
| Edwin Newman | 1 | ||||
| Eddie Van Halen | 2 | ||||
| Dana Carvey | 5 | 1 | 2 | ||
| Nora Dunn | 5 | 1 | |||
| Phil Hartman | 6 | 2 | |||
| Jan Hooks | 4 | 1 | |||
| Victoria Jackson | 3 | ||||
| Jon Lovitz | 4 | ||||
| Dennis Miller | 2 | ||||
| A. Whitney Brown | 1 | ||||
| Kevin Nealon | 6 | 2 | |||
| Tom Davis | 1 | 1 | 1 | ||
| Lew Del Gatto | 1 | ||||
| Alex Foster | 1 | ||||
| Al Franken | 1 | 1 | |||
| Earl Gardner | 1 | ||||
| Cheryl Hardwick | 1 | ||||
| Chris Parker | 1 | ||||
| Leon Pendarvis | 1 | ||||
| Lenny Pickett | 1 | ||||
| Robert Smigel | 1 | 1 | |||
| G.E. Smith | 1 | ||||
| Steve Turre | 1 | ||||
| T-Bone Wolk | 1 | ||||
| 60 | 2 | 8 | 3 |