| Cold Opening | NFL Video Countdown |
| Sketch | Bar |
| Sketch | The Honest Man |
| Musical Performance | "French Kissin' in the USA" |
| Sketch | Mace |
| Sketch | Chick Hazard, Private Investigator Eddie's Mistake |
| Miscellaneous | Super Bowl Gambling Memories |
| Musical Performance | "In Love With Love" |
| Cold Opening | NFL Video Countdown |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Raiul |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Horst |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Hosni |
| Jon Vitti | ... | player |
| Commercial |
| Nora Dunn | ... | motorist |
| Phil Hartman | ... | spokesperson |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | motorist |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | motorist |
| Commercial |
| Dana Carvey | ... | gymnast |
| Phil Hartman | ... | announcer Voice |
| Jan Hooks | ... | dancer |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | executive |
| Sketch | Chick Hazard, Private Investigator Eddie's Mistake |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Joey Spimozo |
| Nora Dunn | ... | secretary |
| Phil Hartman | ... | announcer Voice |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Chick Hazard |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | Nancy Maloney |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Eddie Spimozo |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Charlie Loomis |
| Jim Pitt | ... | patron |
| Marc Shaiman | ... | pianist |
| Miscellaneous | Super Bowl Gambling Memories |
| Phil Hartman | ... | announcer Voice |
| Al Franken | ... | announcer Voice |
| Sketch | Chick Hazard, Private Investigator Eddie's Mistake |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Chick Hazard#2 |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | Nancy Maloney#1 |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Eddie Spimozo#2 |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Charlie Loomis#2 |
| Show |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Neil Young |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Jimmy "The Greek" Snyder#1 |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Brent Musburger#1 |
| Cold Opening | NFL Video Countdown |
| Walter Payton | Live | |
| Dennis Wit | ... | player |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Raiul |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Horst |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Hosni |
| Jon Vitti | ... | player |
| Monologue |
| Joe Montana | ||
| Joe Forristal | ... | page |
⁕This monologue is replaced with the dress rehearsal version in reruns.
| Commercial |
| Nora Dunn | ... | motorist |
| Phil Hartman | ... | spokesperson |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | motorist |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | motorist |
| Commercial |
| Dana Carvey | ... | gymnast |
| Phil Hartman | ... | announcer Voice |
| Jan Hooks | ... | dancer |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | executive |
♬Electric Light Orchestra - "Hold On Tight"
| Weekend Update |
♬Bobby Vinton - "Blue Velvet"
| Sketch | Chick Hazard, Private Investigator Eddie's Mistake |
| Walter Payton | ... | Mickey |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Joey Spimozo |
| Nora Dunn | ... | secretary |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Chick Hazard#2 |
| Phil Hartman | ... | announcer Voice |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | Nancy Maloney#1 |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Eddie Spimozo#2 |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Charlie Loomis#2 |
| Jim Pitt | ... | patron |
| Marc Shaiman | ... | pianist |
♬Duke Ellington - "Upper and Outest"
| Miscellaneous | Super Bowl Gambling Memories |
| Phil Hartman | ... | announcer Voice |
| Al Franken | ... | announcer Voice |
| Show |
| Joe Montana | ||
| Walter Payton | ||
| Dana Carvey | ... | Church Lady#5 |
| Phil Hartman | ... | announcer Voice |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Shirley MacLaine |
| Total Appearances | Characters | Impressions | Voices | Stills | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Joe Montana | 5 | ||||
| Walter Payton | 5 | 1 | |||
| Debbie Harry | 2 | ||||
| Dennis Wit | 1 | ||||
| Seth Justman | 2 | ||||
| Chris Stein | 1 | ||||
| Dana Carvey | 5 | 1 | 1 | ||
| Nora Dunn | 2 | ||||
| Phil Hartman | 9 | 2 | 1 | 4 | |
| Jan Hooks | 3 | 1 | |||
| Victoria Jackson | 3 | 1 | |||
| Jon Lovitz | 3 | 2 | |||
| Dennis Miller | 1 | ||||
| A. Whitney Brown | 2 | ||||
| Kevin Nealon | 5 | 1 | 1 | ||
| Al Franken | 1 | 1 | |||
| Don Pardo | 2 | 2 | |||
| Jim Pitt | 1 | ||||
| Marc Shaiman | 1 | ||||
| Jon Vitti | 1 | ||||
| Joe Forristal | 1 | ||||
| 56 | 7 | 5 | 7 |