| Cold Opening | Hands Across America |
| Sketch | Moments Of Doubt |
| Sketch | Glamorous Drinking |
| Musical Performance | "Let's Take It To The Stage" / "Up for the Down Stroke" / "I Call My Baby Pussycat" |
| Sketch | Lesbian Pick-Ups |
| Miscellaneous | Backstage |
| Show | Book Minute |
| Sketch | Movie Theatre |
| Sketch | My Friend |
| Musical Performance | "Do Fries Go with That Shake?" / "Standing on the Verge of Getting It On" |
| Sketch | Fire |
| Cold Opening | Hands Across America |
| Joan Cusack | ... | supporter |
| Robert Downey Jr. | ... | supporter |
| Nora Dunn | ... | leader |
| Randy Quaid | ... | Kevin Brennan Live |
| Terry Sweeney | ... | supporter |
| Danitra Vance | ... | supporter |
| Sketch | Glamorous Drinking |
| Joan Cusack | ... | lady |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | bartender |
| Danitra Vance | ... | lady |
| Tom Davis | ... | Alfredo |
| Lorne Michaels |
| Weekend Update |
| Dennis Miller | ||
| Al Franken |
Me, Al Franken"One More Saturday Night" | |
| A. Whitney Brown | ||
| Don Novello | ... | Father Guido Sarducci Voice |
| Sketch | Lesbian Pick-Ups |
| Joan Cusack | ... | fiancee |
| Robert Downey Jr. | ... | fiance |
| Nora Dunn | ... | Andréa |
| Carol Leifer | ... | patron |
| Evie Murray | ... | patron |
| Sketch | Movie Theatre |
| Robert Downey Jr. | ... | usher |
| Randy Quaid | ... | husband |
| Terry Sweeney | ... | Patti LaBelle |
| Danitra Vance | ... | Aunt Corina |
| A. Whitney Brown | ... | patron |
| Evie Murray | ... | patron |
| Sketch | My Friend |
| Joan Cusack | ... | Tracy |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Mephistopheles |
| Danitra Vance | ... | Dana |
| Lorne Michaels |
| Musical Performance | "Let's Take It To The Stage" / "Up for the Down Stroke" / "I Call My Baby Pussycat" |
| Musical Performance | "Do Fries Go with That Shake?" / "Standing on the Verge of Getting It On" |
| Musical Performance | "Let's Take It To The Stage" / "Up for the Down Stroke" / "I Call My Baby Pussycat" |
| Cold Opening | Hands Across America |
| Billy Martin | ... | supporter |
| Joan Cusack | ... | supporter |
| Robert Downey Jr. | ... | supporter |
| Nora Dunn | ... | leader |
| Randy Quaid | ... | Kevin Brennan Live |
| Terry Sweeney | ... | supporter |
| Danitra Vance | ... | supporter |
⁕Nora Dunn accidentally says "Do not hold... don't stop holding hands."
| Sketch | Glamorous Drinking |
| Anjelica Huston | ... | wife |
| Billy Martin | ... | Bob |
| Joan Cusack | ... | lady |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | bartender |
| Danitra Vance | ... | lady |
| Tom Davis | ... | Alfredo |
| Lorne Michaels |
| Commercial |
| Anjelica Huston | ... | Maerose Prizzi |
⁕This sketch is replaced with the dress rehearsal version in reruns.
| Musical Performance | "Let's Take It To The Stage" / "Up for the Down Stroke" / "I Call My Baby Pussycat" |
| Weekend Update |
| Dennis Miller | ||
| Al Franken |
Me, Al Franken"One More Saturday Night" | |
| A. Whitney Brown | ||
| Lila York |
The Weekend Update DancersStatue of Liberty celebration | |
| Don Novello | ... | Father Guido Sarducci Voice |
♬"Gone With the Wind" Theme
♬"Superman" Theme
| Sketch | Lesbian Pick-Ups |
| Anjelica Huston | ... | bartender |
| Joan Cusack | ... | fiancee |
| Robert Downey Jr. | ... | fiance |
| Nora Dunn | ... | Andréa |
| Carol Leifer | ... | patron |
| Evie Murray | ... | patron |
| Miscellaneous | Backstage |
⁕Jon Lovitz' line about how drinking is "glamorous too" is a reference to the sketch earlier in the episode.
| Show | Book Minute |
| Mark McKinney | ... | announcer Voice |
| Danitra Vance | ... | Aquanetta Feinstein |
⁕This sketch is replaced with the dress rehearsal version in reruns.
| Sketch | Movie Theatre |
| Anjelica Huston | ... | wife |
| Robert Downey Jr. | ... | usher |
| Randy Quaid | ... | husband |
| Terry Sweeney | ... | Patti LaBelle |
| Danitra Vance | ... | Aunt Corina |
| A. Whitney Brown | ... | patron |
| Evie Murray | ... | patron |
| Sketch | My Friend |
| Billy Martin | ... | Colonel Harland Sanders |
| Joan Cusack | ... | Tracy |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Mephistopheles |
| Danitra Vance | ... | Dana |
| Lorne Michaels |
| Musical Performance | "Do Fries Go with That Shake?" / "Standing on the Verge of Getting It On" |
⁕This performance is replaced with the dress rehearsal version in reruns.
| Sketch | Fire |
⁕This entire sketch and the goodnights are replaced with the dress rehearsal version in reruns.
| Total Appearances | Characters | Impressions | Voices | Stills | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Anjelica Huston | 7 | ||||
| Billy Martin | 6 | 1 | |||
| George Clinton & The Parliament Funkadelic | 3 | ||||
| Joe Forristal | 1 | ||||
| Lila York | 1 | ||||
| Thomas Dolby | 1 | ||||
| Mark McKinney | 1 | 1 | |||
| Joan Cusack | 6 | ||||
| Robert Downey Jr. | 5 | 1 | |||
| Nora Dunn | 4 | 1 | |||
| Anthony Michael Hall | 3 | ||||
| Jon Lovitz | 5 | 3 | |||
| Dennis Miller | 2 | ||||
| Randy Quaid | 6 | 1 | |||
| Terry Sweeney | 3 | 1 | |||
| Danitra Vance | 6 | ||||
| A. Whitney Brown | 2 | ||||
| Al Franken | 2 | ||||
| Don Novello | 2 | 2 | 1 | ||
| Tom Davis | 1 | ||||
| Carol Leifer | 1 | ||||
| Lorne Michaels | 3 | ||||
| Evie Murray | 2 | ||||
| Don Pardo | 4 | 4 | |||
| Damon Wayans | 2 | ||||
| 79 | 7 | 3 | 6 |