| Sketch | The Bolshoi Ballet |
| Steve Martin | ... | cupid |
| Jane Curtin | ... | soldier |
| Bill Murray | ... | soldier |
| Gilda Radner | ... | woman |
| Peter Aykroyd | ... | soldier |
| Tom Davis | ... | soldier |
| Jim Downey | ... | soldier |
| Al Franken | ... | soldier |
| Tom Gammill | ... | soldier |
| Max Pross | ... | soldier |
| Harry Shearer | ... | emcee |