| Cold Opening |
| Jon Hamm | ... | Johnny Prosciutto Live |
| Fred Armisen | ... | Lawrence Welk#7 Live |
| Abby Elliott | ... | Shirley#5 |
| Nasim Pedrad | ... | Nancy#4 |
| Kristen Wiig | ... | Dooneese#7 Live |
| Vanessa Bayer | ... | Toni#3 |
| Kate McKinnon | ... | mother |
| Steve Higgins | ... | announcer Voice |
♬Lawrence Welk - "Bubbles In The Wine"