| Cold Opening | The Lawrence Welk Show |
| Jon Hamm | ... | Johnny Prosciutto Live |
| Fred Armisen | ... | Lawrence Welk Live |
| Vanessa Bayer | ... | Toni |
| Abby Elliott | ... | Shirley |
| Steve Higgins | ... | announcer Voice |
| Kate McKinnon | ... | mother |
| Nasim Pedrad | ... | Nancy |
| Kristen Wiig | ... | Dooneese Live |