| Cold Opening | Neverland Ranch |
| Fred Armisen | ... | Martin Bashir |
| Rachel Dratch | ... | Elizabeth Taylor#3 |
| Will Forte | ... | Macaulay Culkin |
| Darrell Hammond | ... | Geraldo Rivera#6 |
| Chris Parnell | ... | announcer Voice |
| Amy Poehler | ... | Michael Jackson#5 Live |
| Maya Rudolph | ... | LaToya Jackson#2 |
| Kenan Thompson | ... | Emmanuel Lewis |