| Sketch | Green Screen |
| Sketch | Ninth Presidential Debate |
| Miscellaneous | Paris Hilton Apologizes |
| Musical Performance | "Pieces of Me" |
| Sketch | Bush/Blair Press Conference |
| Sketch | Jane Eyre |
| Sketch | The Adventures of Peter O'Toole & Michael Caine |
| Cold Opening |
| Will Forte | ... | Zell Miller |
| Darrell Hammond | ... | Chris Matthews Live |
| Seth Meyers | ... | Ed Gillespie |
| Amy Poehler | ... | Mary Beth Cahill |
| Sketch | Green Screen |
| Rachel Dratch | ... | marker |
| Will Forte | ... | Randy Turkstra |
| Seth Meyers | ... | David |
| Amy Poehler | ... | Catherine |
| Sketch | Ninth Presidential Debate |
| Will Forte | ... | George W. Bush |
| Seth Meyers | ... | John Kerry |
| Chris Parnell | ... | Jim Lehrer |
| Miscellaneous | Paris Hilton Apologizes |
| Rachel Dratch | ... | Nicole Richie |
| Maya Rudolph | ... | Paris Hilton |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
| Weekend Update |
| Tina Fey | ||
| Amy Poehler | ||
| Horatio Sanz | ... | Babe Ruth's ghost |
| Rachel Dratch | ... | Lulu /ghost hooker |
| Tina Fey |
| Sketch | Bush/Blair Press Conference |
| Fred Armisen | ... | reporter |
| Will Forte | ... | George W. Bush |
| Amy Poehler | ... | reporter |
| Finesse Mitchell | ... | reporter |
| Rob Riggle | ... | reporter |
| Jim Downey | ... | announcer Voice |
| Sketch | The Adventures of Peter O'Toole & Michael Caine |
| Rachel Dratch | ... | employee |
| Seth Meyers | ... | Michael Caine |
| Rob Riggle | ... | Brett |
| Kenan Thompson | ... | Gary |
| Steve Higgins | ... | announcer Voice |
| Cold Opening |
| Will Forte | ... | Zell Miller |
| Darrell Hammond | ... | Chris Matthews Live |
| Seth Meyers | ... | Ed Gillespie |
| Amy Poehler | ... | Mary Beth Cahill |
| Sketch | Ninth Presidential Debate |
| Will Forte | ... | George W. Bush |
| Seth Meyers | ... | John Kerry |
| Chris Parnell | ... | Jim Lehrer |
| Miscellaneous | Paris Hilton Apologizes |
| Sketch | The Adventures of Peter O'Toole & Michael Caine |
| Cold Opening |
| Will Forte | ... | Zell Miller |
| Darrell Hammond | ... | Chris Matthews Live |
| Seth Meyers | ... | Ed Gillespie |
| Amy Poehler | ... | Mary Beth Cahill |
| Sketch | Green Screen |
| Jude Law | ... | Peter |
| Rachel Dratch | ... | marker |
| Will Forte | ... | Randy Turkstra |
| Seth Meyers | ... | David |
| Amy Poehler | ... | Catherine |
| Sketch | Ninth Presidential Debate |
| Will Forte | ... | George W. Bush |
| Seth Meyers | ... | John Kerry |
| Chris Parnell | ... | Jim Lehrer |
| Miscellaneous | Paris Hilton Apologizes |
| Jude Law | ... | Nicki Hilton |
| Rachel Dratch | ... | Nicole Richie |
| Maya Rudolph | ... | Paris Hilton |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
| Weekend Update |
| Jimmy Fallon | ... | announcer Voice |
| Tina Fey | ||
| Amy Poehler | ||
| Horatio Sanz | ... | Babe Ruth's ghost |
| Rachel Dratch | ... | Lulu /ghost hooker |
| Tina Fey |
| Sketch | Bush/Blair Press Conference |
| Jude Law | ... | Tony Blair |
| Fred Armisen | ... | reporter |
| Will Forte | ... | George W. Bush |
| Amy Poehler | ... | reporter |
| Finesse Mitchell | ... | reporter |
| Rob Riggle | ... | reporter |
| Jim Downey | ... | announcer Voice |
| Sketch | Jane Eyre |
| Jude Law | ... | Mr. Rochester |
| Rachel Dratch | ... | Jane |
| Maya Rudolph | ... | mistress |
⁕This sketch originally appeared at the 03.06.2004 dress rehearsal.
| Musical Performance |
⁕Ashlee Simpson planned to perform "Autobiography" here. However, at the beginning of the performance, the vocal track from her previous song starts playing. Stunned, Ashlee looks around at her band members. She does a silly dance, and after several seconds, walks off the stage. Her band continues to play the instrumentals from the previous song as the show unexpectedly goes to commercial. The performance is unchanged in reruns.
| Sketch | The Adventures of Peter O'Toole & Michael Caine |
| Jude Law | ... | Peter O'Toole |
| Rachel Dratch | ... | employee |
| Seth Meyers | ... | Michael Caine |
| Rob Riggle | ... | Brett |
| Kenan Thompson | ... | Gary |
| Steve Higgins | ... | announcer Voice |
| Goodnights |
⁕Addressing her performance earlier, Ashlee Simpson explains that her band started playing the wrong song, and "I didn't know what to do so I thought I'd do a hoedown". Ashlee later claimed that she had almost completely lost her voice during rehearsals, and decided to use a pre-recorded vocal track for support during both performances.
| Total Appearances | Characters | Impressions | Voices | Stills | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Jude Law | 6 | 3 | |||
| Ashlee Simpson | 3 | ||||
| Lee Barron | 2 | ||||
| Jimmy Fallon | 1 | 1 | |||
| Fred Willard | 2 | 2 | |||
| Fred Armisen | 2 | 1 | |||
| Rachel Dratch | 6 | 1 | |||
| Tina Fey | 2 | ||||
| Will Forte | 4 | 3 | |||
| Darrell Hammond | 2 | 2 | |||
| Seth Meyers | 5 | 3 | 1 | ||
| Chris Parnell | 1 | 1 | |||
| Amy Poehler | 5 | 1 | |||
| Maya Rudolph | 3 | 1 | |||
| Horatio Sanz | 1 | ||||
| Finesse Mitchell | 1 | ||||
| Rob Riggle | 2 | ||||
| Kenan Thompson | 1 | ||||
| Jim Downey | 1 | 1 | |||
| Steve Higgins | 1 | 1 | |||
| Don Pardo | 1 | 1 | |||
| 52 | 16 | 7 |