| Musical Performance | "Dy-Na-Mi-Tee" |
| Sketch | Give Up The Ham |
| Show | Profiles In Jazz |
| Miscellaneous | Mr. Rogers Tribute |
| Cold Opening |
| Darrell Hammond | ... | Bill Clinton |
| Chris Parnell | ... | announcer Live Voice |
| Monologue |
| Tracy Morgan | ... | Sir Mix-A-Lot |
| Maya Rudolph | ... | Cadillaqua |
| Horatio Sanz | ... | Sebastian |
| Fred Armisen | ... | trumpeter |
| Will Forte | ... | trumpeter |
| Seth Meyers | ... | Sagamore |
| Show |
| Darrell Hammond | ... | Regis Philbin |
| Chris Kattan | ... | Michael Gelman |
| Chris Parnell | ... | announcer Voice |
| Amy Poehler | ... | Kelly Ripa |
| Commercial |
| Rachel Dratch | ... | contestant |
| Darrell Hammond | ... | contestant |
| Tracy Morgan | ... | contestant |
| Chris Parnell | ... | announcer Voice |
| Maya Rudolph | ... | contestant |
| Horatio Sanz | ... | contestant |
| Will Forte | ... | contestant |
| Seth Meyers | ... | contestant |
| Commercial |
| Rachel Dratch | ... | Paula Poundstone |
| Jimmy Fallon | ... | Gilbert Gottfried |
| Darrell Hammond | ... | Danny Aiello |
| Chris Kattan | ... | Kathy Griffin |
| Maya Rudolph | ... | announcer Voice |
| Jeff Richards | ... | Gary Busey |
| Weekend Update |
| Amy Poehler | ... | announcer Voice |
| Jimmy Fallon | ||
| Tina Fey | ||
| Horatio Sanz | ... |
Khalid Shaikh Mohammed
Commentary on his picture |
| Jeff Richards | ... |
Dustin Hoffman
The Update DoorCommentary on the Grammys |
| Chris Parnell | ... | Trevor The Broadway Guy |
| Eric Slovin | ... | Thomas Jefferson |
| Sketch | Give Up The Ham |
| Rachel Dratch | ... | Sylvia Nash |
| Chris Kattan | ... | Emily |
| Tracy Morgan | ... | Charlene |
| Chris Parnell | ... | spokesperson |
| Amy Poehler | ... | Jennifer Hastings |
| Maya Rudolph | ... | Chantel |
| Will Forte | ... | employee |
| Cartoon |
| Amy Poehler | ... | Blossom Voice |
| Robert Smigel | ... | Achmed Voice |
| Robert Smigel | ... | Dick Cheney Voice |
| Robert Smigel | ... | militant Voice |
| Robert Smigel | ... | skunk Voice |
| Show | Profiles In Jazz |
| Darrell Hammond | ... | Jack Perkins |
| Tracy Morgan | ... | friend |
| Tracy Morgan | ... | Louis Armstrong |
| Maya Rudolph | ... | Della Peyton |
| Fred Armisen | ... | Kelvyn Delongpre |
| Dean Edwards | ... | Rufus Monroe |
| Steve Higgins | ... | announcer Voice |
| Sketch |
| Rachel Dratch | ... | customer |
| Tracy Morgan | ... | Glenn |
| Chris Parnell | ... | customer |
| Horatio Sanz | ... | Don |
| Fred Armisen | ... | customer |
| Will Forte | ... | customer |
| Steve Higgins | ... | announcer Voice |
| Cartoon |
| Jeff Bergman | ... | Bugs Bunny Voice |
| Bill Chott | ... | announcer Voice |
| Tom Kenny | ... | SpongeBob SquarePants Voice |
| Jim Morris | ... | Bill Clinton Voice |
| Jim Morris | ... | George Bush Voice |
| Jim Morris | ... | George W. Bush Voice |
| Jim Morris | ... | Gerald Ford Voice |
| Jim Morris | ... | Jimmy Carter Voice |
| Jim Morris | ... | Ronald Reagan Voice |
| Weekend Update |
| Horatio Sanz | ... |
Khalid Shaikh Mohammed
Commentary on his picture |
| Jeff Richards | ... |
Dustin Hoffman
The Update DoorCommentary on the Grammys |
| Eric Slovin | ... | Thomas Jefferson |
| Cartoon |
| Jim Morris | ... | Bill Clinton Voice |
| Jim Morris | ... | George Bush Voice |
| Jim Morris | ... | George W. Bush Voice |
| Jim Morris | ... | Gerald Ford Voice |
| Jim Morris | ... | Jimmy Carter Voice |
| Jim Morris | ... | Ronald Reagan Voice |
| Robert Smigel | ... | Dick Cheney Voice |
| Cold Opening |
| Dan Aykroyd | ... | Bob Dole |
| Darrell Hammond | ... | Bill Clinton |
| Chris Parnell | ... | announcer Live Voice |
| Monologue |
| Queen Latifah | ||
| Tracy Morgan | ... | Sir Mix-A-Lot |
| Maya Rudolph | ... | Cadillaqua |
| Horatio Sanz | ... | Sebastian |
| Fred Armisen | ... | trumpeter |
| Will Forte | ... | trumpeter |
| Seth Meyers | ... | Sagamore |
| Show |
| Queen Latifah | ... | Lady Three |
| Maya Rudolph | ... | Free |
| Dean Edwards | ... | A.J. Calloway |
| Jeff Richards | ... | Baby K |
⁕This sketch is replaced with the dress rehearsal version in reruns.
| Show |
| Queen Latifah | ... | Frenchie Davis |
| Darrell Hammond | ... | Regis Philbin |
| Chris Kattan | ... | Michael Gelman |
| Chris Parnell | ... | announcer Voice |
| Amy Poehler | ... | Kelly Ripa |
| Commercial |
| Queen Latifah | ... | contestant |
| Rachel Dratch | ... | contestant |
| Darrell Hammond | ... | contestant |
| Tracy Morgan | ... | contestant |
| Chris Parnell | ... | announcer Voice |
| Maya Rudolph | ... | contestant |
| Horatio Sanz | ... | contestant |
| Will Forte | ... | contestant |
| Seth Meyers | ... | contestant |
| Show |
| Queen Latifah | ... | Barbara |
| Amy Poehler | ... | Margey |
| Maya Rudolph | ... | Darcelle Chambers |
| Steve Higgins | ... | announcer Voice |
⁕This sketch originally appeared at the 02.15.2003 dress rehearsal.
⁕The background music is absent for the first few minutes. This is fixed in reruns.
| Commercial |
| Rachel Dratch | ... | Paula Poundstone |
| Jimmy Fallon | ... | Gilbert Gottfried |
| Darrell Hammond | ... | Danny Aiello |
| Chris Kattan | ... | Kathy Griffin |
| Maya Rudolph | ... | announcer Voice |
| Jeff Richards | ... | Gary Busey |
| Weekend Update |
| Amy Poehler | ... | announcer Voice |
| Jimmy Fallon | ||
| Tina Fey | ||
| Horatio Sanz | ... |
Khalid Shaikh Mohammed
Commentary on his picture |
| Jeff Richards | ... |
Dustin Hoffman
The Update DoorCommentary on the Grammys |
| Chris Parnell | ... | Trevor The Broadway Guy |
| Eric Slovin | ... | Thomas Jefferson |
⁕In reruns, all of the guest segments are replaced with the dress rehearsal versions.
| Sketch | Give Up The Ham |
| Queen Latifah | ... | Ayisha |
| Rachel Dratch | ... | Sylvia Nash |
| Chris Kattan | ... | Emily |
| Tracy Morgan | ... | Charlene |
| Chris Parnell | ... | spokesperson |
| Amy Poehler | ... | Jennifer Hastings |
| Maya Rudolph | ... | Chantel |
| Will Forte | ... | employee |
| Cartoon |
| Jeff Bergman | ... | Bugs Bunny Voice |
| Bill Chott | ... | announcer Voice |
| Tom Kenny | ... | SpongeBob SquarePants Voice |
| Jim Morris | ... | Bill Clinton Voice |
| Jim Morris | ... | George Bush Voice |
| Jim Morris | ... | George W. Bush Voice |
| Jim Morris | ... | Gerald Ford Voice |
| Jim Morris | ... | Jimmy Carter Voice |
| Jim Morris | ... | Ronald Reagan Voice |
| Amy Poehler | ... | Blossom Voice |
| Robert Smigel | ... | Achmed Voice |
| Robert Smigel | ... | Dick Cheney Voice |
| Robert Smigel | ... | militant Voice |
| Robert Smigel | ... | skunk Voice |
| Show | Profiles In Jazz |
| Queen Latifah | ... | Alberta Jones |
| Darrell Hammond | ... | Jack Perkins |
| Tracy Morgan | ... | friend |
| Tracy Morgan | ... | Louis Armstrong |
| Maya Rudolph | ... | Della Peyton |
| Fred Armisen | ... | Kelvyn Delongpre |
| Dean Edwards | ... | Rufus Monroe |
| Steve Higgins | ... | announcer Voice |
| Anthony J. Caruso | ... | audience member |
| Sketch |
| Queen Latifah | ... | Talandra |
| Rachel Dratch | ... | customer |
| Tracy Morgan | ... | Glenn |
| Chris Parnell | ... | customer |
| Horatio Sanz | ... | Don |
| Fred Armisen | ... | customer |
| Will Forte | ... | customer |
| Steve Higgins | ... | announcer Voice |
⁕This sketch is replaced with the dress rehearsal version in reruns.
| Total Appearances | Characters | Impressions | Voices | Stills | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Queen Latifah | 8 | 1 | |||
| Ms. Dynamite | 1 | ||||
| Dan Aykroyd | 1 | 1 | |||
| Jeff Bergman | 1 | 1 | |||
| Bill Chott | 1 | 1 | |||
| Tom Kenny | 1 | 1 | |||
| Jim Morris | 1 | 6 | 6 | ||
| Rachel Dratch | 4 | 1 | |||
| Jimmy Fallon | 2 | 1 | |||
| Tina Fey | 1 | ||||
| Darrell Hammond | 5 | 4 | |||
| Chris Kattan | 3 | 2 | |||
| Tracy Morgan | 5 | 1 | |||
| Chris Parnell | 6 | 3 | |||
| Amy Poehler | 5 | 1 | 2 | ||
| Maya Rudolph | 7 | 1 | 1 | ||
| Horatio Sanz | 5 | 1 | 1 | ||
| Fred Armisen | 3 | ||||
| Dean Edwards | 2 | 1 | |||
| Will Forte | 4 | ||||
| Seth Meyers | 2 | ||||
| Jeff Richards | 3 | 1 | 2 | ||
| Steve Higgins | 3 | 3 | |||
| Eric Slovin | 1 | 1 | |||
| Robert Smigel | 1 | 1 | 4 | ||
| Anthony J. Caruso | 1 | ||||
| 77 | 2 | 25 | 22 |