| Cold Opening | The Studio 8H Rules |
| Sketch | Burger Castle |
| Cartoon | Up Close With Geppetto |
| Musical Performance | "Thong Song" |
| Sketch | Yoga Class |
| Film | Stavenhagens Pawn Shop “Cash for Food” |
| Sketch | Convenience Store “Porn Magazines” |
| Cold Opening | The Studio 8H Rules |
| Game Show |
| Jimmy Fallon | ... | Hilary Swank |
| Will Ferrell | ... | Alex Trebek |
| Darrell Hammond | ... | Sean Connery |
| Chris Kattan | ... | Ricky Martin |
| Chris Parnell | ... | Chad Lowe |
| Danielle Flora | ... | dancer |
| Sketch | Burger Castle |
| Jimmy Fallon | ... | customer |
| Ana Gasteyer | ... | customer |
| Tim Meadows | ... | customer |
| Cheri Oteri | ... | Nadeen |
| Horatio Sanz | ... | customer |
| Rachel Dratch | ... | customer |
| Weekend Update |
| Darrell Hammond | ... | announcer Voice |
| Colin Quinn | ||
| Chris Kattan | ... | James Haven Voight |
| Molly Shannon | ... | Angelina Jolie |
| Rachel Dratch | ... | David Mack Wilson /Qrplt*xk Voight |
| Cheri Oteri | ... | Joy Lipton |
| Sketch | Yoga Class |
| Will Ferrell | ... | student |
| Chris Kattan | ... | student |
| Tim Meadows | ... | student |
| Chris Parnell | ... | student |
| Molly Shannon | ... | student |
| Rachel Dratch | ... | student |
| Film | Stavenhagens Pawn Shop “Cash for Food” |
| Will Ferrell | ... | junkie |
| Tracy Morgan | ... | waffle thief |
| Horatio Sanz | ... | Franklin |
| Adam McKay | ... | robber |
| Sketch | Convenience Store “Porn Magazines” |
| Will Ferrell | ... | Sean |
| Ana Gasteyer | ... | fiancee |
| Horatio Sanz | ... | Jimmy |
| Weekend Update |
| Rachel Dratch | ... | David Mack Wilson#2 /Qrplt*xk Voight |
| Cheri Oteri | ... | Joy Lipton#2 |
| Game Show |
| Tobey Maguire | ... | Keanu Reeves |
| Jimmy Fallon | ... | Hilary Swank |
| Will Ferrell | ... | Alex Trebek#8 |
| Darrell Hammond | ... | Sean Connery#8 |
| Chris Kattan | ... | Ricky Martin#3 |
| Chris Parnell | ... | Chad Lowe |
| Cold Opening | The Studio 8H Rules |
| Game Show |
| Tobey Maguire | ... | Keanu Reeves |
| Jimmy Fallon | ... | Hilary Swank |
| Will Ferrell | ... | Alex Trebek#8 |
| Darrell Hammond | ... | Sean Connery#8 |
| Chris Kattan | ... | Ricky Martin#3 |
| Chris Parnell | ... | Chad Lowe |
| Danielle Flora | ... | dancer |
⁕The Ricky Martin segment is replaced with the dress rehearsal version in reruns.
♬Ricky Martin - "Livin' la Vida Loca"
| Sketch | Burger Castle |
| Tobey Maguire | ... | Curtis |
| Jimmy Fallon | ... | customer |
| Ana Gasteyer | ... | customer |
| Tim Meadows | ... | customer |
| Cheri Oteri | ... | Nadeen#3 |
| Horatio Sanz | ... | customer |
| Rachel Dratch | ... | customer |
| Sketch | Tennis Lesson |
| Tobey Maguire | ... | Teddy Preston |
| Will Ferrell | ... | Leslie Attebury#1 |
| Ana Gasteyer | ... | Ginger Attebury#3 |
| Weekend Update |
| Darrell Hammond | ... | announcer Voice |
| Colin Quinn | ||
| Chris Kattan | ... | James Haven Voight#1 |
| Molly Shannon | ... | Angelina Jolie#1 |
| Rachel Dratch | ... | David Mack Wilson#2 /Qrplt*xk Voight |
| Cheri Oteri | ... | Joy Lipton#2 |
| Musical Performance | "Thong Song" |
⁕Sisqo's wireless microphone begins to malfunction, and a new microphone is tossed to him quickly and almost unnoticeably. This is not seen in reruns.
| Sketch | Yoga Class |
| Tobey Maguire | ... | Trampus |
| Will Ferrell | ... | student |
| Chris Kattan | ... | student |
| Tim Meadows | ... | student |
| Chris Parnell | ... | student |
| Molly Shannon | ... | student |
| Rachel Dratch | ... | student |
♬Tom Waits - "The Earth Died Screaming"
| Film | Stavenhagens Pawn Shop “Cash for Food” |
| Steve Buscemi | ... | Billy |
| Will Ferrell | ... | junkie |
| Tracy Morgan | ... | waffle thief |
| Horatio Sanz | ... | Franklin |
| Adam McKay | ... | robber |
♬Brise-Glace - "Neither Yield Nor Reap"
♬Sex Mob - "Holiday of Briggan"
♬Orchestra Pete Jacques - "Pay Per Screw"
♬Victor Young - "The High And The Mighty"
| Sketch | Convenience Store “Porn Magazines” |
| Tobey Maguire | ... | Phil |
| Will Ferrell | ... | Sean |
| Ana Gasteyer | ... | fiancee |
| Horatio Sanz | ... | Jimmy |
⁕This sketch originally appeared at the 04.08.2000 dress rehearsal.
| Total Appearances | Characters | Impressions | Voices | Stills | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Tobey Maguire | 8 | 2 | |||
| Sisqó | 1 | ||||
| Clarence "Gatemouth" Brown | 1 | ||||
| Steve Buscemi | 1 | ||||
| Jimmy Fallon | 2 | 1 | |||
| Will Ferrell | 6 | 1 | 2 | ||
| Ana Gasteyer | 3 | 1 | |||
| Darrell Hammond | 3 | 1 | 1 | ||
| Chris Kattan | 4 | 2 | |||
| Tim Meadows | 3 | ||||
| Tracy Morgan | 2 | ||||
| Cheri Oteri | 3 | 2 | |||
| Chris Parnell | 4 | 1 | 1 | ||
| Colin Quinn | 1 | ||||
| Horatio Sanz | 3 | ||||
| Molly Shannon | 2 | 1 | |||
| Rachel Dratch | 3 | 1 | |||
| Danielle Flora | 1 | ||||
| Adam McKay | 2 | 1 | |||
| Lorne Michaels | 1 | ||||
| Robert Smigel | 1 | 1 | |||
| 55 | 6 | 10 | 3 |