| Weekend Update |
| Norm MacDonald | ||
| Norm MacDonald | ||
| Colin Quinn |
Commentary on St. Patrick's Day | |
| Rich Francese | ... | security guard |
| Cheri Oteri | ... |
Joanna Pacitti Commentary on being fired from "Annie" |
| Ana Gasteyer | ... | Brittny Kissinger |
⁕The camera accidentally changes as Norm MacDonald delivers his last joke, prompting him to ad-lib several times about the mistake.