| Sketch | Pacific Brigade “Soldiers Not Coming Back” |
| Phil Hartman | ... | commander |
| Jim Breuer | ... | corporal |
| Will Ferrell | ... | Sullivan |
| Darrell Hammond | ... | sergeant |
| Chris Kattan | ... | corporal |
| Norm MacDonald | ... | Miller |
| Mark McKinney | ... | corporal |
| Tim Meadows | ... | Bloomfield |
| Tracy Morgan | ... | Thompson |
| Colin Quinn | ... | Conners |
| Stephen Colbert | ... | corporal |
| Dennis McNicholas | ... | corporal |
| Scott Wainio | ... | Rogers |
| Patrick Ferrell | ... | corporal |