| Cold Opening | Hootie's Million Man March |
| Jim Breuer | ... | fraternity brother |
| Will Ferrell | ... | fraternity brother |
| Darrell Hammond | ... | Peter Jennings |
| David Koechner | ... | Charlie Sheen |
| Tim Meadows | ... | Darius Rucker Live |
| Nancy Walls | ... | Cokie Roberts |
| Adam McKay | ... | fraternity brother |
⁕The Peter Jennings portions are replaced with the dress rehearsal version in reruns.