| Cold Opening | Press Conference |
| Sketch | Parents Believe in Santa |
| Show | L.A. Breast And Penis |
| Game Show | Japanese Gameshow |
| Musical Performance | "Sure Shot" |
| Sketch | Rookie Cop |
| Show | The Young and The Youthful |
| Sketch | Back Seat |
| Musical Performance | "Ricky's Theme", "Heart Attack Man" |
| Sketch | Bad Striptease |
| Sketch | Celebrity Memorabilia Auction |
| Cold Opening | Press Conference |
| Ellen Cleghorne | ... | Joycelyn Elders Live |
| Al Franken | ... | announcer Voice |
| Commercial |
| Ellen Cleghorne | ... | engineer |
| Janeane Garofalo | ... | engineer |
| Norm MacDonald | ... | engineer |
| Michael McKean | ... | engineer |
| Tim Meadows | ... | engineer |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | engineer |
| Norm Hiscock | ... | engineer |
| Ian Maxtone-Graham | ... | engineer |
| Ryan Shiraki | ... | engineer |
| Show | L.A. Breast And Penis |
| Ellen Cleghorne | ... | wife |
| Chris Elliott | ... | Flippo Wood /Dr. Ted Hatcher |
| Chris Farley | ... | grandson |
| Janeane Garofalo | ... | Kelly-Amber Gable /Nurse Sheila Ten Bears |
| Michael McKean | ... | Mr. Stone |
| Mike Myers | ... | Mr. Fletcher |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Doug |
| Laura Kightlinger | ... | Mrs. Fletcher |
| Game Show | Japanese Gameshow |
| Chris Farley | ... | Larry Templeton |
| Janeane Garofalo | ... | contestant |
| Michael McKean | ... | announcer Voice |
| Mike Myers | ... | host |
| Laura Kightlinger | ... | hostess |
| Jay Mohr | ... | executioner |
| Sketch | Rookie Cop |
| Ellen Cleghorne | ... | Brenda Hamilton |
| Chris Elliott | ... | Red Skeffington |
| Chris Farley | ... | headline rotator |
| Janeane Garofalo | ... | Cheryl |
| Norm MacDonald | ... | viewer |
| Michael McKean | ... | coroner |
| Tim Meadows | ... | Jerome |
| Mike Myers | ... | commissioner |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Rudy Giuliani |
| Adam Sandler | ... | cop |
| David Spade | ... | cop |
| Al Franken | ... | announcer Voice |
| Al Franken | ... | officer Voice |
| Laura Kightlinger | ... | viewer |
| Jay Mohr | ... | cop |
| Show | The Young and The Youthful |
| Ellen Cleghorne | ... | Khajima Ashanti-Bethel /Paige Hampton |
| Janeane Garofalo | ... | Macneilly Barton /Delaney Rogers-Thorne |
| Michael McKean | ... | announcer Voice |
| Michael McKean | ... | George Lofranco /Stefano Demitrius |
| Tim Meadows | ... | Renaldo Haynes /Paris Duncan |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Mr. Davidson |
| David Spade | ... | David Andrew Scott /Shane Somerset |
| Jay Mohr | ... | employee Voice |
| Sketch | Bad Striptease |
| Ellen Cleghorne | ... | guest |
| Chris Elliott | ... | stripper |
| Janeane Garofalo | ... | plaintiff |
| Michael McKean | ... | judge |
| Laura Kightlinger | ... | guest |
| Jay Mohr | ... | attorney |
| Sketch | Celebrity Memorabilia Auction |
| Ellen Cleghorne | ... | bidder |
| Chris Elliott | ... | Dennis |
| Janeane Garofalo | ... | bidder |
| Michael McKean | ... | bidder |
| Mike Myers | ... | bidder |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | bidder |
| Cold Opening | Press Conference |
| Ellen Cleghorne | ... | Joycelyn Elders Live |
| Al Franken | ... | announcer Voice |
| Commercial |
| Ellen Cleghorne | ... | engineer |
| Janeane Garofalo | ... | engineer |
| Norm MacDonald | ... | engineer |
| Michael McKean | ... | engineer |
| Tim Meadows | ... | engineer |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | engineer |
| Norm Hiscock | ... | engineer |
| Ian Maxtone-Graham | ... | engineer |
| Ryan Shiraki | ... | engineer |
| Sketch | Parents Believe in Santa |
| Alec Baldwin | ... | Carl |
| Janeane Garofalo | ... | Mary |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | police officer |
| Show | L.A. Breast And Penis |
| Alec Baldwin | ... | Josh Highhorn /Dr. Mark Caldicott |
| John Henry Kurtz | ... | announcer Voice |
| Ellen Cleghorne | ... | wife |
| Chris Elliott | ... | Flippo Wood /Dr. Ted Hatcher |
| Chris Farley | ... | grandson |
| Janeane Garofalo | ... | Kelly-Amber Gable /Nurse Sheila Ten Bears |
| Michael McKean | ... | Mr. Stone |
| Mike Myers | ... | Mr. Fletcher |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Doug |
| Laura Kightlinger | ... | Mrs. Fletcher |
| Game Show | Japanese Gameshow |
| Alec Baldwin | ... | contestant |
| Chris Farley | ... | Larry Templeton |
| Janeane Garofalo | ... | contestant |
| Michael McKean | ... | announcer Voice |
| Mike Myers | ... | host |
| Laura Kightlinger | ... | hostess |
| Jay Mohr | ... | executioner |
⁕In reruns, some alternate camera angles are used.
| Sketch | Rookie Cop |
| Alec Baldwin | ... | Tom |
| Ellen Cleghorne | ... | Brenda Hamilton |
| Chris Elliott | ... | Red Skeffington |
| Chris Farley | ... | headline rotator |
| Janeane Garofalo | ... | Cheryl |
| Norm MacDonald | ... | viewer |
| Michael McKean | ... | coroner |
| Tim Meadows | ... | Jerome |
| Mike Myers | ... | commissioner |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Rudy Giuliani |
| Adam Sandler | ... | cop |
| David Spade | ... | cop |
| Al Franken | ... | announcer Voice |
| Al Franken | ... | officer Voice |
| Laura Kightlinger | ... | viewer |
| Jay Mohr | ... | cop |
⁕Throughout this sketch, the timing is off on some of the vomit mechanisms, causing it to pour out of a performer's hand after they lower their arm.
⁕The Giuliani scene is replaced with the dress rehearsal version in reruns.
⁕In reruns, some alternate camera angles are used.
| Show | The Young and The Youthful |
| Alec Baldwin | ... | Jonathan Colorado /Pierce & Petey Talbott |
| Ellen Cleghorne | ... | Khajima Ashanti-Bethel /Paige Hampton |
| Janeane Garofalo | ... | Macneilly Barton /Delaney Rogers-Thorne |
| Michael McKean | ... | George Lofranco /Stefano Demitrius |
| Michael McKean | ... | announcer Voice |
| Tim Meadows | ... | Renaldo Haynes /Paris Duncan |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Mr. Davidson |
| David Spade | ... | David Andrew Scott /Shane Somerset |
| Jay Mohr | ... | employee Voice |
| Sketch | Bad Striptease |
| Alec Baldwin | ... | attorney |
| Ellen Cleghorne | ... | guest |
| Chris Elliott | ... | stripper |
| Janeane Garofalo | ... | plaintiff |
| Michael McKean | ... | judge |
| Laura Kightlinger | ... | guest |
| Jay Mohr | ... | attorney |
♬The Rolling Stones - "Start Me Up"
♬The Rolling Stones - "Slave"
♬Meat Loaf - "Bat Out Of Hell"
♬"Alley Cat"
♬Nitty Gritty Dirt Band - "Mr. Bojangles"
| Sketch | Celebrity Memorabilia Auction |
| Alec Baldwin | ... | Mike |
| Christian Slater | ||
| Ellen Cleghorne | ... | bidder |
| Chris Elliott | ... | Dennis |
| Janeane Garofalo | ... | bidder |
| Michael McKean | ... | bidder |
| Mike Myers | ... | bidder |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | bidder |
⁕The first half of this sketch is replaced with the dress rehearsal version in reruns. In the live show, Ellen Cleghorne accidentally reads one of Michael McKean's lines.
| Total Appearances | Characters | Impressions | Voices | Stills | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Alec Baldwin | 8 | ||||
| Beastie Boys | 2 | ||||
| Christian Slater | 1 | ||||
| Buddy Guy | 1 | ||||
| John Henry Kurtz | 1 | 1 | |||
| Ellen Cleghorne | 7 | 1 | |||
| Chris Elliott | 4 | ||||
| Chris Farley | 3 | ||||
| Janeane Garofalo | 9 | ||||
| Norm MacDonald | 3 | ||||
| Michael McKean | 8 | 2 | |||
| Tim Meadows | 3 | ||||
| Mike Myers | 4 | ||||
| Kevin Nealon | 6 | 1 | |||
| Adam Sandler | 2 | 1 | |||
| David Spade | 2 | ||||
| Al Franken | 2 | 3 | |||
| Laura Kightlinger | 4 | ||||
| Jay Mohr | 4 | 1 | |||
| Jack Handey | 1 | 1 | |||
| Phil Hartman | 1 | 1 | |||
| Norm Hiscock | 1 | ||||
| Ian Maxtone-Graham | 1 | ||||
| Ryan Shiraki | 1 | ||||
| 79 | 1 | 2 | 9 |