| Cold Opening | Goodfellas |
| Alec Baldwin | Live | |
| Kim Basinger | ... | Stacey |
| Ellen Cleghorne | ... | Denise "Who Let Her Kind In Here" Washington |
| Chris Farley | ... | Bobby Buckethead |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Johnny Big Balls |
| Melanie Hutsell | ... | Coldsore Carol |
| Tim Meadows | ... | Naked Derek |
| Mike Myers | ... | Johnny The Informer |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Nick "The Puppet" Lamponi |
| Adam Sandler | ... | Ed The Complete Idiot |
| Rob Schneider | ... | Jimmy Five Times |
| David Spade | ... | Out Of Focus Eddie |
| Julia Sweeney | ... | Gina "The Clap" Vinetti |
| Norm MacDonald | ... | Richie Pause-N-Shout |
| Jay Mohr | ... | Jimmy Two Times |
| Dave Attell | ... | Frankie Carbone |
| Steve Koren | ... | Anthony "Santa" DeJenko |
| Ian Maxtone-Graham | ... | Pete The Pedophile |
| Fred Wolf | ... | Skinny Lou |
♬Tony Bennett - "Rags to Riches"