| Cold Opening | Remington Shavers |
| Sketch | All My Luggage |
| Sketch | Great Love Stories |
| Musical Performance | "Give It Up" |
| Game Show | Game Breakers |
| Sketch | Womanhood |
| Sketch | I Will Not Cry |
| Musical Performance | "I Can See Clearly Now" |
| Monologue |
| Jan Hooks | ||
| Victoria Jackson | ||
| Mike Myers | ||
| Kevin Nealon | ||
| Mary Cooke | ... | Sylvia |
| David Spade | ||
| Bonnie Turner | ... | Gloria |
| Show |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Regis Philbin |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Frank Gifford |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Kathie Lee Gifford |
| Mike Myers | ... | Jerome Mackey |
| Tom Davis | ... | Michael Gelman |
| Marci Klein | ... | extra |
| Rob Schneider | ... | announcer Voice |
| Sketch | Great Love Stories |
| Phil Hartman | ... | husband |
| Jan Hooks | ... | wife |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | wife |
| Mike Myers | ... | husband |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | husband |
| Chris Farley | ... | husband |
| Chris Rock | ... | husband |
| Al Franken | ... | announcer Voice |
| Weekend Update |
| Dennis Miller | ||
| Kevin Nealon | ... |
Mr. Subliminal
Explanation of the NC-17 rating |
| Chris Rock |
Commentary on black and white criminals | |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Grumpy Old Man |
| Game Show | Game Breakers |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Siegfried Fischbacher |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Jack Logan |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Margaret Fletcher |
| Don Pardo | ||
| David Spade | ... | Roy Horn |
| Sketch | Womanhood |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Valerie |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | Missy |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Uncle Rob |
| Rob Schneider | ... | caterer |
| Sketch | I Will Not Cry |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Jesus |
| Jan Hooks | ... | coworker |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | coworker |
| Mike Myers | ... | Leslie |
| Weekend Update |
| Kevin Nealon | ... |
Mr. Subliminal
Explanation of the NC-17 rating |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Grumpy Old Man |
| Monologue |
| Susan Lucci | ||
| Jan Hooks | ||
| Victoria Jackson | ||
| Mike Myers | ||
| Kevin Nealon | ||
| Mary Cooke | ... | Sylvia |
| David Spade | ||
| Bonnie Turner | ... | Gloria |
| Show |
| Susan Lucci | ||
| Dana Carvey | ... | Regis Philbin |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Frank Gifford |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Kathie Lee Gifford |
| Mike Myers | ... | Jerome Mackey |
| Tom Davis | ... | Michael Gelman |
| Marci Klein | ... | extra |
| Rob Schneider | ... | announcer Voice |
| Sketch | All My Luggage |
| Susan Lucci | ... | Jessica Flemming |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Ted |
| Phil Hartman | ... | announcer Voice |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | teller |
| Sketch | Great Love Stories |
| Susan Lucci | ... | wife |
| Phil Hartman | ... | husband |
| Jan Hooks | ... | wife |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | wife |
| Mike Myers | ... | husband |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | husband |
| Chris Farley | ... | husband |
| Chris Rock | ... | husband |
| Al Franken | ... | announcer Voice |
♬"Gone With the Wind" Theme
| Weekend Update |
| Dennis Miller | ||
| Kevin Nealon | ... |
Mr. Subliminal
Explanation of the NC-17 rating |
| Chris Rock |
Commentary on black and white criminals | |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Grumpy Old Man |
♬The Kinks - "You Really Got Me"
| Game Show | Game Breakers |
| Susan Lucci | ... | Erica Kane |
| Gene Rayburn | ||
| Dana Carvey | ... | Siegfried Fischbacher |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Jack Logan |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Margaret Fletcher |
| Don Pardo | ||
| David Spade | ... | Roy Horn |
| Sketch | Womanhood |
| Susan Lucci | ... | Mrs. Schroeder |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Valerie |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | Missy |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Uncle Rob |
| Rob Schneider | ... | caterer |
| Sketch | I Will Not Cry |
| Susan Lucci | ... | coworker |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Jesus |
| Jan Hooks | ... | coworker |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | coworker |
| Mike Myers | ... | Leslie |
| Commercial |
| Phil Hartman | ... | announcer Voice |
| Chris Rock | ... | M.C. Hammer |
⁕This commercial parody is removed in reruns. To fill time, two "Deep Thoughts" are shown earlier in the episode.
| Total Appearances | Characters | Impressions | Voices | Stills | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Susan Lucci | 7 | ||||
| Hothouse Flowers | 2 | ||||
| Gene Rayburn | 1 | ||||
| Dana Carvey | 3 | 1 | 2 | ||
| Phil Hartman | 7 | 1 | 2 | 2 | |
| Jan Hooks | 6 | 1 | |||
| Victoria Jackson | 4 | ||||
| Dennis Miller | 1 | ||||
| Mike Myers | 4 | 1 | |||
| Kevin Nealon | 5 | 1 | |||
| Chris Farley | 1 | ||||
| Chris Rock | 3 | 1 | |||
| Al Franken | 1 | 1 | |||
| Mary Cooke | 1 | ||||
| Tom Davis | 1 | 1 | |||
| Marci Klein | 1 | ||||
| Don Pardo | 1 | ||||
| Rob Schneider | 2 | 1 | |||
| David Spade | 2 | 1 | |||
| Bonnie Turner | 1 | ||||
| 54 | 3 | 9 | 4 |