| Sketch | The New Paper Chase The Pressure Cooker |
| Charlton Heston | ... | Alfred Kingsley |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Kelner |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Snyder |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | Carol Haggerty |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Jerry Tarkanian |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | student |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
⁕In a shot of the students, Phil Hartman is seen leaving the set to go to next scene. In reruns, this shot is replaced with one from dress rehearsal.