| Sketch | Pinklisting |
| Madonna | ... | Melinda Zumont |
| Joan Cusack | ... | makeup artist |
| Robert Downey Jr. | ... | stagehand |
| Anthony Michael Hall | ... | stagehand |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Ted |
| Randy Quaid | ... | Art |
| Terry Sweeney | ... | Clint Weston |
| Joe Dicso | ... | stage manager |
| Al Franken | ... | narrator Voice |
| Jimmy McKearnin | ... | stagehand |
| Eileen O'Brien | ... | cue card girl |
| Robert Smigel | ... | stagehand |
⁕In reruns, part of Terry Sweeney's entrance dialogue is removed.