March 17, 1984#1
| Cold Opening | St. Patrick's Day Wrap-Up |
| Ed Koch | Live | |
| Mary Gross | ... | Siobhan Cahill Live |
| Brad Hall | ... | patron |
| Tim Kazurinsky | ... | Father Timothy Owens |
| Gary Kroeger | ... | patron |
| Julia Louis-Dreyfus | ... | patron |
| Andy Breckman | ... | bartender |
| Nate Herman | ... | patron |
| Andrew Smith | ... | patron |