| Cold Opening | Backstage |
| Show | Donny & Marie St. Patrick's Day Special |
| Miscellaneous | Special Report |
| Sketch | The Home For Disgusting Practices |
| Musical Performance | "Sweet Sue" |
| Sketch | Jerry Lewis School of Manners |
| Miscellaneous | Gumbys |
| Musical Performance | "When You Wish Upon A Star", "I Ain't Got Nobody" |
| Sketch | Veggie Burgers |
| Show | Donny & Marie St. Patrick's Day Special |
| Gary Kroeger | ... | Donny Osmond |
| Julia Louis-Dreyfus | ... | Marie Osmond |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
| Miscellaneous | Special Report |
| Mary Gross | ... | Alfalfa |
| Eddie Murphy | ... | Buckwheat |
| Joe Piscopo | ... | Ted Koppel |
| Sketch | The Home For Disgusting Practices |
| Robin Duke | ... | Ms. Blanding |
| Mary Gross | ... | Mrs. Oberman |
| Brad Hall | ... | Mr. Cadbury |
| Tim Kazurinsky | ... | Reggie |
| Joe Piscopo | ... | Mr. Widenheimer |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
| Saturday Night News |
| Brad Hall | ||
| Tim Kazurinsky | ... |
Dr. Jack Badofsky
Venereal disease |
| Mary Gross | ... |
Siobhan Cahill
Commentary on the St. Patrick's Day parade |
| Sketch | Jerry Lewis School of Manners |
| Robin Duke | ... | student |
| Mary Gross | ... | student |
| Brad Hall | ... | student |
| Gary Kroeger | ... | student |
| Julia Louis-Dreyfus | ... | student |
| Eddie Murphy | ... | Mr. Irving Flang |
| Joe Piscopo | ... | Mr. Caca |
| Saturday Night News |
| Tim Kazurinsky | ... |
Dr. Jack Badofsky
Venereal disease |
| Mary Gross | ... |
Siobhan Cahill
Commentary on the St. Patrick's Day parade |
| Show | Donny & Marie St. Patrick's Day Special |
| Show | Donny & Marie St. Patrick's Day Special |
| Gary Kroeger | ... | Donny Osmond |
| Julia Louis-Dreyfus | ... | Marie Osmond |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
| Miscellaneous | Special Report |
| Arsenio Hall | ... | bodyguard |
| Jackson Beck | ... | announcer Voice |
| Mary Gross | ... | Alfalfa |
| Eddie Murphy | ... | Buckwheat |
| Joe Piscopo | ... | Ted Koppel |
| Sketch | The Home For Disgusting Practices |
| Bruce Dern | ... | Dr. Lother |
| Robin Duke | ... | Ms. Blanding |
| Mary Gross | ... | Mrs. Oberman |
| Brad Hall | ... | Mr. Cadbury |
| Tim Kazurinsky | ... | Reggie |
| Joe Piscopo | ... | Mr. Widenheimer |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
| Saturday Night News |
| Brad Hall | ||
| Tim Kazurinsky | ... |
Dr. Jack Badofsky
Venereal disease |
| Mary Gross | ... |
Siobhan Cahill
Commentary on the St. Patrick's Day parade |
| Sketch | Jerry Lewis School of Manners |
| Robin Duke | ... | student |
| Mary Gross | ... | student |
| Brad Hall | ... | student |
| Gary Kroeger | ... | student |
| Julia Louis-Dreyfus | ... | student |
| Eddie Murphy | ... | Mr. Irving Flang |
| Joe Piscopo | ... | Mr. Caca |
| Sketch |
| Bruce Dern | ... | Alfred Lloyd Popperkosh |
| Tim Kazurinsky | ... | Moe Laub |
| Joe Piscopo | ... | Harry Schliemer |
| Total Appearances | Characters | Impressions | Voices | Stills | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Bruce Dern | 5 | ||||
| Leon Redbone | 2 | ||||
| Arsenio Hall | 1 | ||||
| Jackson Beck | 2 | 2 | |||
| Robin Duke | 2 | ||||
| Mary Gross | 6 | 2 | 1 | ||
| Brad Hall | 3 | ||||
| Tim Kazurinsky | 4 | 2 | |||
| Gary Kroeger | 4 | 1 | |||
| Julia Louis-Dreyfus | 3 | 1 | |||
| Eddie Murphy | 7 | 3 | |||
| Joe Piscopo | 7 | 1 | 1 | ||
| Don Pardo | 5 | 5 | |||
| 51 | 8 | 3 | 8 |