| Sketch | Murder |
| Martin Sheen | ... | Ernie |
| Peter Aykroyd | ... | renter |
| Jane Curtin | ... | hostage |
| Tom Davis | ... | window washer |
| Garrett Morris | ... | Curtis Washington |
| Bill Murray | ... | pizza delivery man |
| Laraine Newman | ... | superintendent |
| Gilda Radner | ... | Jehovah's witness |
| Tom Gammill | ... | caroler |
| Lee Mayman | ... | caroler |
| Sarah Paley | ... | caroler |
| Liz Welch | ... | renter |