| Cold Opening | Suicide Prevention |
| Show | Presidential Foreplay |
| Sketch | An Oval Office |
| Musical Performance | "Ain't No Sunshine" |
| Sketch | Citizen Kane II |
| Musical Performance | "Wham Re-Bop Boom Bam" |
| Sketch | Mechanics Bedtime Story |
| Miscellaneous | Why Call It Dope? |
| Film | Who's Funny? |
| Musical Performance | "King Bee" |
| Miscellaneous | Mike Douglas |
| Sketch | An Oval Office |
| John Belushi | ... | Secret Service agent |
| Chevy Chase | ... | Gerald Ford |
| Garrett Morris | ... | Secret Service agent |
| Lorne Michaels | ... | Peter Aaron /reporter Voice |
| Musical Performance | "Ain't No Sunshine" |
| Weekend Update |
| Chevy Chase | ||
| Chevy Chase | ||
| Garrett Morris | ... | janitor in Angola |
| Chevy Chase | ||
| Alan Zweibel |
News For The Dead |
| Sketch | Citizen Kane II |
| Dan Aykroyd | ... | Charles Foster Kane |
| John Belushi | ... | Mr. Bernstein |
| Chevy Chase | ... | Jed Leland |
| Garrett Morris | ... | delivery boy |
| Laraine Newman | ... | nurse |
| Tom Schiller | ... | Henri |
| Musical Performance | "King Bee" |
| Commercial |
| Laraine Newman | ... | mourner |
| Gilda Radner | ... | widow |
| Anne Beatts | ... | mourner |
| Tom Davis | ... | mourner |
| Al Franken | ... | mourner |
| Neil Levy | ... | mourner |
| Michael O'Donoghue | ... | mourner |
| Tom Schiller | ... | priest |
| Alan Zweibel | ... | corpse |
| Commercial |
| Chevy Chase | ... | visitor |
| Jane Curtin | ... | Beatrice |
| Garrett Morris | ... | Officer Jackson |
| Gilda Radner | ... | visitor |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
| Sketch | Samurai Delicatessen |
| Buck Henry | ... | Mr. Dantley |
| John Belushi | ... | Samurai Futaba |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
| Sketch | An Oval Office |
| Buck Henry | ... | Ron Nessen |
| John Belushi | ... | Secret Service agent |
| Chevy Chase | ... | Gerald Ford |
| Garrett Morris | ... | Secret Service agent |
| Lorne Michaels | ... | Peter Aaron /reporter Voice |
| Musical Performance | "Ain't No Sunshine" |
| Weekend Update |
| Chevy Chase | ||
| Chevy Chase | ||
| Garrett Morris | ... | janitor in Angola |
| Buck Henry | ... |
Henry Zuckerman Editorial on masturbation |
| Chevy Chase | ||
| Alan Zweibel |
News For The Dead |
⁕Henry Zuckerman is Buck Henry's birth name.
| Commercial |
| Bill Wendell | ... | announcer Voice |
| Jane Curtin | ... | visitor |
| Laraine Newman | ... | Judy |
| Gilda Radner | ... | housewife |
| Sketch | Citizen Kane II |
| Buck Henry | ... | Mr. Thompson |
| Dan Aykroyd | ... | Charles Foster Kane |
| John Belushi | ... | Mr. Bernstein |
| Chevy Chase | ... | Jed Leland |
| Garrett Morris | ... | delivery boy |
| Laraine Newman | ... | nurse |
| Tom Schiller | ... | Henri |
⁕Buck Henry and Chevy Chase briefly break character in the final scene as they repeat Kane's last words.
♬Bernard Herrmann - "Aria from Salammbo"
♬Bernard Herrmann - "Rosebud and Finale"
♬Bernard Herrmann - "Overture"
| Musical Performance | "King Bee" |
| Commercial |
| Laraine Newman | ... | mourner |
| Gilda Radner | ... | widow |
| Anne Beatts | ... | mourner |
| Tom Davis | ... | mourner |
| Al Franken | ... | mourner |
| Neil Levy | ... | mourner |
| Michael O'Donoghue | ... | mourner |
| Tom Schiller | ... | priest |
| Alan Zweibel | ... | corpse |
| Commercial |
| Buck Henry | ... | Fred |
| Chevy Chase | ... | visitor |
| Jane Curtin | ... | Beatrice |
| Garrett Morris | ... | Officer Jackson |
| Gilda Radner | ... | visitor |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
| Total Appearances | Characters | Impressions | Voices | Stills | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Buck Henry | 7 | 1 | 1 | ||
| Toni Basil | 1 | ||||
| Bill Withers | 1 | ||||
| Jim Henson's Muppets | 1 | ||||
| Sidney Davis | 1 | ||||
| Andrew Duncan | 1 | 1 | |||
| Bill Wendell | 1 | 1 | |||
| Dan Aykroyd | 4 | 1 | 1 | ||
| John Belushi | 4 | 2 | |||
| Chevy Chase | 6 | 1 | |||
| George Coe | |||||
| Jane Curtin | 4 | ||||
| Garrett Morris | 4 | ||||
| Laraine Newman | 4 | ||||
| Gilda Radner | 5 | ||||
| Anne Beatts | 1 | ||||
| Bob Cranshaw | 1 | ||||
| Tom Davis | 1 | ||||
| Al Franken | 2 | ||||
| Cheryl Hardwick | 1 | ||||
| Howard Johnson | 2 | ||||
| Bert Jones | 1 | ||||
| Neil Levy | 1 | ||||
| Tom Malone | 2 | ||||
| Lou Marini | 2 | ||||
| Lorne Michaels | 1 | 1 | |||
| Michael O'Donoghue | 2 | ||||
| Don Pardo | 3 | 3 | |||
| Alan P. Rubin | 2 | ||||
| Tom Schiller | 2 | ||||
| Dahaud Elias Shaar | 1 | ||||
| Paul Shaffer | 1 | ||||
| Howard Shore | 1 | ||||
| Mauricio Smith | 2 | ||||
| Alan Zweibel | 2 | ||||
| 75 | 4 | 2 | 7 |