| Cold Opening | Editorial Reply |
| Sketch | Gross-Out Family |
| Game Show | Game Beaters |
| Musical Performance | "Woyaho" |
| Show | The Global Warming Christmas Special |
| Show | P. Whipped |
| Musical Performance | "He Said" |
| Sketch | Repeating Guy |
| Miscellaneous | Christmas Message |
| Cold Opening | Editorial Reply |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Mr. Subliminal Live |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
| Sketch | Gross-Out Family |
| Jan Hooks | ... | mother |
| Mike Myers | ... | son |
| Chris Farley | ... | Kevin |
| Julia Sweeney | ... | daughter |
| Game Show | Game Beaters |
| Dana Carvey | ... | guy Still |
| Phil Hartman | ... | guy Still |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Whip Trilby |
| Jan Hooks | ... | girl Still |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | Susan Carlisle |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | doctor Still |
| Nora Dunn | ... | girl Still |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | guy Still |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
| Show | The Global Warming Christmas Special |
| Show | Sabra Shopping Network |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Boris |
| Phil Hartman | ... | caller Voice |
| Jan Hooks | ... | caller Voice |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | caller Voice |
| Rob Schneider | ... | caller Voice |
| Adam Sandler | ... | salesman |
| Robert Smigel | ... | announcer Voice |
| Weekend Update |
| Dana Carvey | ... |
Dennis Miller#5 Performs "Jingle Bells" |
| Tom Hanks | ... | Dennis Miller |
| Show | The Global Warming Christmas Special |
| Tom Hanks | ... | Dean Martin |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Paul McCartney#2 |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Issac Asimov |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Crystal Gayle |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | Sally Struthers |
| Mike Myers | ... | Carl Sagan |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | George Hamilton#2 |
| Chris Farley | ... | Dom DeLuise#1 |
| Julia Sweeney | ... | Petula Clark |
| Christine Zander | ... | Linda McCartney |
| Cold Opening | Editorial Reply |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Mr. Subliminal#6 Live |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
| Monologue |
⁕In reruns, the portion where Paul Simon orders the "Joe Piscopo" is replaced with the dress rehearsal version, in which Steve Martin gives him a disapproving look and says "Really!"
| Sketch | Gross-Out Family |
| Tom Hanks | ... | father |
| Jan Hooks | ... | mother |
| Mike Myers | ... | son |
| Chris Farley | ... | Kevin |
| Julia Sweeney | ... | daughter |
⁕When Chris Farley closes the door, a spice rack falls off the wall.
| Game Show | Game Beaters |
| Tom Hanks | ... | Jeff Morrow#3 |
| Tony Randall | ||
| Dana Carvey | ... | guy Still |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Whip Trilby |
| Phil Hartman | ... | guy Still |
| Jan Hooks | ... | girl Still |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | Susan Carlisle |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | doctor Still |
| Nora Dunn | ... | girl Still |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | guy Still |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
| Weekend Update |
| Dennis Miller | ||
| Dana Carvey | ... |
Dennis Miller#5 Performs "Jingle Bells" |
| Tom Hanks | ... | Dennis Miller |
♬John Lennon & Yoko Ono - "Instant Karma! (We All Shine On)"
| Show | The Global Warming Christmas Special |
| Tom Hanks | ... | Dean Martin |
| Ralph Nader | ||
| John Henry Kurtz | ... | announcer Voice |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Paul McCartney#2 |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Issac Asimov |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Crystal Gayle |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | Sally Struthers |
| Mike Myers | ... | Carl Sagan |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | George Hamilton#2 |
| Chris Farley | ... | Dom DeLuise#1 |
| Julia Sweeney | ... | Petula Clark |
| Christine Zander | ... | Linda McCartney |
| Show | P. Whipped |
| Tom Hanks | ... | Barry |
| Dana Carvey | ... | David |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Andrea |
| Mike Myers | ... | Paul |
| Don Pardo | Voice |
| Show | Sabra Shopping Network |
| Tom Hanks | ... | Uri Shulenson#1 |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Boris |
| Phil Hartman | ... | caller Voice |
| Jan Hooks | ... | caller Voice |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | caller Voice |
| Rob Schneider | ... | caller Voice |
| Adam Sandler | ... | salesman |
| Robert Smigel | ... | announcer Voice |
| Sketch | Repeating Guy |
| Tom Hanks | ... | Mr. Blanston |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Dr. Charles Whittaker |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | Mrs. Blanston |
⁕In reruns, the last two scenes are replaced with the dress rehearsal version, in which Victoria Jackson breaks character due to Tom Hanks's facial expressions.
| Miscellaneous | Christmas Message |
⁕The set for this sketch was used earlier for the George Hamilton portion of "The Global Warming Christmas Special".
| Total Appearances | Characters | Impressions | Voices | Stills | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Tom Hanks | 8 | 2 | 2 | ||
| Edie Brickell & New Bohemians | 2 | ||||
| Elliott Gould | 1 | ||||
| Jon Lovitz | 2 | 1 | |||
| Steve Martin | 1 | ||||
| Ralph Nader | 2 | ||||
| Tony Randall | 1 | ||||
| Paul Simon | 1 | ||||
| John Henry Kurtz | 1 | 1 | |||
| Dana Carvey | 5 | 2 | 1 | ||
| Phil Hartman | 4 | 1 | 1 | 1 | |
| Jan Hooks | 5 | 1 | 1 | 1 | |
| Victoria Jackson | 3 | 1 | |||
| Dennis Miller | 1 | ||||
| Mike Myers | 3 | 1 | |||
| Kevin Nealon | 4 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 1 |
| Chris Farley | 2 | 1 | |||
| Chris Rock | |||||
| Julia Sweeney | 2 | 1 | |||
| A. Whitney Brown | 1 | ||||
| Al Franken | |||||
| Rob Schneider | 1 | 1 | |||
| David Spade | |||||
| Nora Dunn | 1 | 1 | |||
| Jon Lovitz | 2 | 1 | |||
| Conan O'Brien | 1 | ||||
| Don Pardo | 3 | 3 | |||
| Adam Sandler | 1 | ||||
| Robert Smigel | 1 | 1 | |||
| Christine Zander | 1 | 1 | |||
| 60 | 3 | 12 | 9 | 7 |