| Cold Opening | A Message From The Vice President |
| Sketch | Anne Boleyn Part XI: The Final Chapter |
| Musical Performance | "We All Sleep Alone" |
| Sketch | Ching Change “Positive Ethnic Role Model” |
| Sketch | Mayflower Madam |
| Musical Sketch | Country Through and Through |
| Musical Performance | "I Found Someone" |
| Sketch | Thought Bubble |
| Sketch | Peeping Tom |
| Cold Opening | A Message From The Vice President |
| Dana Carvey | ... | George Bush Live |
| Al Franken | ... | announcer Voice |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
| Show |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Hans |
| Phil Hartman | ... | announcer Voice |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Helmut |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Franz |
| Robert Smigel | ... | cable announcer Voice |
| Sketch | Anne Boleyn Part XI: The Final Chapter |
| Nora Dunn | ... | spectator |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Norfolk |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | spectator |
| Dennis Miller | ... | spectator |
| Tom Davis | ... | epilogue narrator Voice |
| Sketch | Ching Change “Positive Ethnic Role Model” |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Ching Change |
| Nora Dunn | ... | Loose Change |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Matthew Chen |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
| Sketch | Mayflower Madam |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Amagansett |
| Nora Dunn | ... | Prudence |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Myles Standish |
| Jan Hooks | ... | pilgrim |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | Chastity |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Chief Taconic |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
| Musical Sketch | Country Through and Through |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Lonnie Broadaxe |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
| Sketch | Peeping Tom |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Mace |
| Jan Hooks | ... | prostitute |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | john |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | pervert |
| Musical Performance | "We All Sleep Alone" |
| Sketch | Ching Change “Positive Ethnic Role Model” |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Ching Change#5 |
| Nora Dunn | ... | Loose Change#3 |
| Cold Opening | A Message From The Vice President |
| Dana Carvey | ... | George Bush#2 Live |
| Al Franken | ... | announcer Voice |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
| Show |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Hans#2 |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Helmut#1 |
| Phil Hartman | ... | announcer Voice |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Franz#2 |
| Robert Smigel | ... | cable announcer Voice |
| Sketch | Anne Boleyn Part XI: The Final Chapter |
| Candice Bergen | ... | Anne Boleyn |
| Nora Dunn | ... | spectator |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Norfolk |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | spectator |
| Dennis Miller | ... | spectator |
| Tom Davis | ... | epilogue narrator Voice |
♬"12 Dances from The Danserye"
| Commercial | Manufacturers of Machine Part Components United To Save Our Courts |
| John Henry Kurtz | ... | announcer Voice |
| Musical Performance | "We All Sleep Alone" |
| Sketch | Ching Change “Positive Ethnic Role Model” |
| Candice Bergen | ... | tourist |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Ching Change#5 |
| Nora Dunn | ... | Loose Change#3 |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Matthew Chen |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
♬R Hook Norton - "Feeling Alive"
| Weekend Update |
⁕A segment was planned featuring Dana Carvey as Dennis Miller, but he did not appear. Dennis begins to introduce the segment, but after a pause, he ad-libs "I've always waited for this to happen. Three years and a sketch blew up on live TV." To fill time, there is an extended band shot before the last commercial break.
♬The Who - "Won't Get Fooled Again"
| Sketch | Mayflower Madam |
| Candice Bergen | ... | Priscilla Biddle Barrows |
| Sydney Biddle Barrows | ||
| Dana Carvey | ... | Amagansett |
| Nora Dunn | ... | Prudence |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Myles Standish |
| Jan Hooks | ... | pilgrim |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | Chastity |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Chief Taconic |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
⁕In reruns, the first Dana Carvey and Jan Hooks scene is replaced with the dress rehearsal version, and their second scene is removed. To fill time, "Einstein Express" from 05.09.1987 is shown later in the episode.
⁕In reruns, the final shot is zoomed to hide Sydney Biddle Barrows stepping to her mark.
| Musical Sketch | Country Through and Through |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Lonnie Broadaxe |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
| Musical Performance | "I Found Someone" |
⁕This performance is replaced with the dress rehearsal version in reruns.
| Sketch | Peeping Tom |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Mace#2 |
| Jan Hooks | ... | prostitute |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | john |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | pervert |
| Total Appearances | Characters | Impressions | Voices | Stills | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Candice Bergen | 5 | 1 | |||
| Cher | 2 | ||||
| Sydney Biddle Barrows | 1 | ||||
| Clifford Carter | 2 | ||||
| Anton Fig | 2 | ||||
| Patricia Darcy Jones | 2 | ||||
| Will Lee | 2 | ||||
| Sid McGinnis | 2 | ||||
| Paul Shaffer | 2 | ||||
| John Henry Kurtz | 1 | 1 | |||
| Dana Carvey | 5 | 2 | 1 | ||
| Nora Dunn | 3 | 1 | |||
| Phil Hartman | 6 | 2 | 1 | 1 | |
| Jan Hooks | 2 | ||||
| Victoria Jackson | 1 | ||||
| Jon Lovitz | 3 | ||||
| Dennis Miller | 2 | ||||
| Kevin Nealon | 3 | 1 | |||
| A. Whitney Brown | |||||
| Tom Davis | 1 | 1 | |||
| Al Franken | 1 | 1 | |||
| Don Pardo | 4 | 4 | |||
| Robert Smigel | 1 | 1 | |||
| G.E. Smith | 2 | ||||
| 55 | 6 | 3 | 9 |