| Sketch | Liars |
| Musical Performance | "Is It A Crime" |
| Sketch | Quirky |
| Sketch | Holiday Moms |
| Musical Performance | "The Sweetest Taboo" |
| Sketch | Fishermen |
| Sketch | Quirky |
| Joan Cusack | ... | Molly |
| Nora Dunn | ... | Kathy |
| Terry Sweeney | ... | waiter |
| A. Whitney Brown | ... | patron |
| Lanier Laney | ... | patron |
| Evie Murray | ... | patron |
| Nils Nichols | ... | patron |
| Susy Schneider | ... | patron |
| Cold Opening |
| Tom Hanks | ... | Robb Weller Live |
| Joan Cusack | ... | Brooke Shields |
| Robert Downey Jr. | ... | George Michael |
| Nora Dunn | ... | Mary Hart |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Ringo Starr |
| Randy Quaid | ... | Gregory Peck |
| Terry Sweeney | ... | Barbara Howar |
| Terry Sweeney | ... | Joan Collins |
| Danitra Vance | ... | Lola Falana |
| Cold Opening |
| Tom Hanks | ... | Robb Weller Live |
| Joan Cusack | ... | Brooke Shields |
| Robert Downey Jr. | ... | George Michael |
| Nora Dunn | ... | Mary Hart |
| Anthony Michael Hall | ||
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Ringo Starr |
| Randy Quaid | ... | Gregory Peck |
| Terry Sweeney | ... | Barbara Howar |
| Terry Sweeney | ... | Joan Collins |
| Danitra Vance | ... | Lola Falana |
⁕A reference is made to a Weekend Update joke on the previous episode about Brooke Shields doing a "Spying Isn't Cool" billboard campaign.
| Sketch | Liars |
| Tom Hanks | ... | Earl Flanagan |
| Robert Downey Jr. | ... | Billy |
| Nora Dunn | ... | mother |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Tommy Flanagan |
| Weekend Update |
| Dennis Miller | ||
| Dennis Miller |
Dennis Miller's Sports FantasyBoxing referee |
♬"Mission: Impossible" Theme
♬"Superman" Theme
| Sketch | Quirky |
| Tom Hanks | ... | Steve |
| Joan Cusack | ... | Molly |
| Nora Dunn | ... | Kathy |
| Terry Sweeney | ... | waiter |
| A. Whitney Brown | ... | patron |
| Lanier Laney | ... | patron |
| Evie Murray | ... | patron |
| Nils Nichols | ... | patron |
| Susy Schneider | ... | patron |
| Sketch | Fishermen |
| Tom Hanks | ... | Tomaso |
| Randy Quaid | ... | Mateo Umbertino |
⁕Randy Quaid's fake mustache becomes unglued after he and Tom Hanks are splashed with water.
| Total Appearances | Characters | Impressions | Voices | Stills | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Tom Hanks | 6 | 1 | 1 | ||
| Sade | 2 | ||||
| Steven Wright | 1 | ||||
| Mark McKinney | 1 | 1 | |||
| Joan Cusack | 3 | 1 | |||
| Robert Downey Jr. | 2 | 1 | |||
| Nora Dunn | 5 | 1 | 1 | ||
| Anthony Michael Hall | 1 | ||||
| Jon Lovitz | 3 | 2 | 1 | ||
| Dennis Miller | 1 | ||||
| Randy Quaid | 2 | 1 | |||
| Terry Sweeney | 2 | 2 | |||
| Danitra Vance | 1 | 1 | |||
| Don Novello | |||||
| Dan Vitale | |||||
| Damon Wayans | 2 | 1 | 1 | ||
| A. Whitney Brown | 1 | ||||
| Lanier Laney | 1 | ||||
| Carol Leifer | 1 | ||||
| Evie Murray | 2 | ||||
| Nils Nichols | 1 | ||||
| Susy Schneider | 1 | ||||
| 39 | 5 | 10 | 1 |