| Cold Opening | Endorsement Ads |
| Show | The Bachelor |
| Sketch | Game Night |
| Show | American Morning |
| Musical Performance | "Guns & Roses" |
| Sketch | Bullhorn |
| Musical Performance | "'03 Bonnie & Clyde" |
| Sketch | Stories |
| Cold Opening | Endorsement Ads |
| Darrell Hammond | ... | Rudy Giuliani Live |
| Chris Parnell | ... | advisor |
| Will Forte | ... | advisor |
| Seth Meyers | ... | advisor |
| Show | The Bachelor |
| Rachel Dratch | ... | Linda |
| Chris Kattan | ... | Chris Harrison |
| Chris Parnell | ... | announcer Voice |
| Amy Poehler | ... | Amber |
| Maya Rudolph | ... | Bethany |
| Sketch | Game Night |
| Rachel Dratch | ... | guest |
| Amy Poehler | ... | Linda |
| Maya Rudolph | ... | guest |
| Will Forte | ... | Wallace |
| Seth Meyers | ... | guest |
| Show | American Morning |
| Rachel Dratch | ... | Koatie Jeffers |
| Tina Fey | ... | Paula Zahn |
| Chris Parnell | ... | Terrence Peeler |
| Amy Poehler | ... | Stephanie Lockland |
| Weekend Update |
| Amy Poehler | ... | announcer Voice |
| Jimmy Fallon | ||
| Tina Fey | ||
| Horatio Sanz | ... |
Gene Shalit
Review of "Jackass: The Movie" |
| Jeff Richards | ... | Baby K |
| Sketch | Bullhorn |
| Chris Parnell | ... | attorney |
| Amy Poehler | ... | Mrs. Schultz |
| Horatio Sanz | ... | bailiff |
| Will Forte | ... | judge |
| Seth Meyers | ... | attorney |
| Dean Obeidallah | ... | juror |
| Commercial |
| Rachel Dratch | ... | theatregoer |
| Darrell Hammond | ... | theatregoer |
| Chris Parnell | ... | announcer Voice |
| Seth Meyers | ... | Crayton Dumont /Steve-o |
| Jeff Richards | ... | Chris Pontius |
| Danielle Flora | ... | dancer |
| Cold Opening | Endorsement Ads |
| Darrell Hammond | ... | Rudy Giuliani#6 Live |
| Chris Parnell | ... | advisor |
| Will Forte | ... | advisor |
| Seth Meyers | ... | advisor |
| Monologue |
| Eric McCormack | ||
| Gregory Siff | ... | audience member |
| Chris Kattan | ||
| Steve Higgins | ... | audience member |
| Paula Pell | ... | Bernice Kattan Still |
| Show | The Bachelor |
| Eric McCormack | ... | Aaron Buerge |
| Rachel Dratch | ... | Linda |
| Chris Kattan | ... | Chris Harrison |
| Chris Parnell | ... | announcer Voice |
| Amy Poehler | ... | Amber#3 |
| Maya Rudolph | ... | Bethany |
| Sketch | Game Night |
| Eric McCormack | ... | guest |
| Rachel Dratch | ... | guest |
| Amy Poehler | ... | Linda |
| Maya Rudolph | ... | guest |
| Will Forte | ... | Wallace |
| Seth Meyers | ... | guest |
| Show | American Morning |
| Eric McCormack | ... | Brent Dunlop |
| Rachel Dratch | ... | Koatie Jeffers |
| Tina Fey | ... | Paula Zahn |
| Chris Parnell | ... | Terrence Peeler |
| Amy Poehler | ... | Stephanie Lockland |
⁕The theme music for this sketch was later used for "Action News 13" on 11.08.2003.
| Weekend Update |
| Amy Poehler | ... | announcer Voice |
| Jimmy Fallon | ||
| Tina Fey | ||
| Horatio Sanz | ... |
Gene Shalit#3 Review of "Jackass: The Movie" |
| Jeff Richards | ... | Baby K#1 |
⁕Gene Shalit's commentary is replaced with the dress rehearsal version in reruns.
⁕The superimposed video of Baby K is adjusted in reruns.
| Sketch | Bullhorn |
| Eric McCormack | ... | Mr. Marshall |
| Chris Parnell | ... | attorney |
| Amy Poehler | ... | Mrs. Schultz |
| Horatio Sanz | ... | bailiff |
| Will Forte | ... | judge |
| Seth Meyers | ... | attorney |
| Dean Obeidallah | ... | juror |
| Michael Delaney | ... | juror |
| Commercial |
| Eric McCormack | ... | Tyler Smythe Seetherton /Johnny Knoxville |
| Rachel Dratch | ... | theatregoer |
| Darrell Hammond | ... | theatregoer |
| Chris Parnell | ... | announcer Voice |
| Seth Meyers | ... | Crayton Dumont /Steve-o |
| Jeff Richards | ... | Chris Pontius |
| Danielle Flora | ... | dancer |
| Anthony J. Caruso | ... | audience member |
| Carrie Locklyn | ... | dancer |
⁕Everything except the theatregoer scene is replaced with the dress rehearsal version in reruns.
| Total Appearances | Characters | Impressions | Voices | Stills | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Eric McCormack | 8 | 1 | |||
| Jay-Z | 2 | ||||
| Beyoncé | 1 | ||||
| Lenny Kravitz | 2 | ||||
| Gregory Siff | 1 | ||||
| Rachel Dratch | 8 | 1 | 3 | ||
| Jimmy Fallon | 2 | 1 | |||
| Tina Fey | 2 | 1 | |||
| Darrell Hammond | 2 | 1 | |||
| Chris Kattan | 4 | 1 | 2 | ||
| Tracy Morgan | 1 | ||||
| Chris Parnell | 5 | 2 | |||
| Amy Poehler | 5 | 1 | 1 | ||
| Maya Rudolph | 3 | ||||
| Horatio Sanz | 2 | 1 | |||
| Fred Armisen | |||||
| Dean Edwards | |||||
| Will Forte | 3 | ||||
| Seth Meyers | 4 | ||||
| Jeff Richards | 2 | 1 | |||
| Jim Downey | 1 | 1 | |||
| Danielle Flora | 1 | ||||
| Steve Higgins | 1 | ||||
| Dean Obeidallah | 1 | ||||
| Paula Pell | 1 | 1 | |||
| Anthony J. Caruso | 1 | ||||
| Michael Delaney | 1 | ||||
| Carrie Locklyn | 1 | ||||
| 65 | 3 | 5 | 5 | 6 |