| Sketch | News Media |
| Jon Stewart | ||
| Jimmy Fallon | ||
| Tina Fey | ||
| Ana Gasteyer | ... | Helen Thomas#4 |
| Darrell Hammond | ... | Dan Rather#7 |
| Darrell Hammond | ... | Ted Koppel#15 |
| Chris Kattan | ... | Christiane Amanpour#3 |
| Tracy Morgan | ... | Star Jones#7 |
| Chris Parnell | ... | Tom Brokaw#15 |
| Amy Poehler | ... | Greta Van Susteren |
| Maya Rudolph | ... | Lisa Ling |
| Horatio Sanz | ... | Gene Shalit#1 |
| Dean Edwards | ... | Ed Bradley |
| Seth Meyers | ... | Stone Phillips |
| Jeff Richards | ... | David Letterman#1 |
♬Carol Lawrence - "Somewhere"