| Cold Opening | Presidential Address |
| Musical Performance | "Too Legit To Quit" |
| Sketch | Bad Haircut Support Group |
| Sketch | Turrell Daily Star “Pearl Harbor” |
| Musical Performance | "Addams Groove" |
| Sketch | Johnny Letter |
| Sketch | Remembrances of Love |
| Musical Performance | "This is the Way We Roll" |
| Cold Opening | Presidential Address |
| Dana Carvey | ... | George Bush Live |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
| Sketch | Bad Haircut Support Group |
| Dana Carvey | ... | husband |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Bob |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | member |
| Mike Myers | ... | Jerry |
| Julia Sweeney | ... | member |
| Ellen Cleghorne | ... | member |
| Siobhan Fallon | ... | moderator |
| Adam Sandler | ... | member |
| Rob Schneider | ... | Eddie |
| Beth Cahill | ... | member |
| Sketch | Turrell Daily Star “Pearl Harbor” |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Carl |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Bill |
| Mike Myers | ... | Larry |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Todd |
| Rob Schneider | ... | Jimmy |
| Sketch |
| Chris Rock | ... | Young Pop |
| Ellen Cleghorne | ... | Pop's daughter |
| Tim Meadows | ... | Pop |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
| Sketch | Johnny Letter |
| Chris Farley | ... | Jake |
| Phil Hartman | ... | announcer Voice |
| Phil Hartman | ... | drover |
| Mike Myers | ... | Johnny Letter |
| Julia Sweeney | ... | lady |
| Tim Meadows | ... | bartender |
| Adam Sandler | ... | patron |
| Sketch | Remembrances of Love |
| Phil Hartman | ... | announcer Voice |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | visitor |
| Ellen Cleghorne | ... | Cheryl |
| Sketch |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Kremlok |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Kenneth Hornaday |
| Ellen Cleghorne | ... | Rosa |
| David Spade | ... | Dick Clark's receptionist |
| Cold Opening | Presidential Address |
| Dana Carvey | ... | George Bush#28 Live |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
| Monologue |
| Hammer | ||
| Chris Rock | ... | Michael Jackson#1 |
⁕Michael Jackson's dancing music is changed in reruns.
| Sketch | Bad Haircut Support Group |
| Hammer | ... | Malcolm |
| Dana Carvey | ... | husband |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Bob |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | member |
| Mike Myers | ... | Jerry |
| Julia Sweeney | ... | member |
| Ellen Cleghorne | ... | member |
| Siobhan Fallon | ... | moderator |
| Adam Sandler | ... | member |
| Rob Schneider | ... | Eddie |
| Beth Cahill | ... | member |
⁕In reruns, Victoria Jackson and Adam Sandler's dialogue is replaced with the dress rehearsal version, and a visible boom microphone is edited out of a wide shot.
| Sketch | Turrell Daily Star “Pearl Harbor” |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Carl |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Bill |
| Mike Myers | ... | Larry |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Todd |
| Rob Schneider | ... | Jimmy |
| Weekend Update |
| Kevin Nealon | ||
| Ellen Cleghorne | ... |
Queen Shenequa#2
Commentary on Kwanzaa |
| Sketch |
| Hammer | ... | Santa |
| Chris Rock | ... | Young Pop#2 |
| Ellen Cleghorne | ... | Pop's daughter#2 |
| Tim Meadows | ... | Pop#2 |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
⁕In reruns, several edits are made to improve pacing, and a visible boom microphone is edited out of a wide shot.
| Sketch | Johnny Letter |
| Chris Farley | ... | Jake |
| Phil Hartman | ... | drover |
| Phil Hartman | ... | announcer Voice |
| Mike Myers | ... | Johnny Letter |
| Julia Sweeney | ... | lady |
| Tim Meadows | ... | bartender |
| Adam Sandler | ... | patron |
| Andy Murphy | ... | patron |
| Grafton True | ... | patron |
| Sketch | Remembrances of Love |
| Hammer | ... | Wilt Chamberlain |
| Phil Hartman | ... | announcer Voice |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | visitor |
| Ellen Cleghorne | ... | Cheryl |
⁕In reruns, the first scene and the shot of Hammer crying are replaced with the dress rehearsal version.
♬Charles Gerhardt - "Virginia City: Stagecoach; Love Scene"
♬Charles Gerhardt - "Key Largo"
| Musical Performance | "This is the Way We Roll" |
⁕In reruns, some alternate camera angles are used.
| Sketch |
| Hammer | ||
| Dana Carvey | ... | Kremlok |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Kenneth Hornaday |
| Ellen Cleghorne | ... | Rosa |
| David Spade | ... | Dick Clark's receptionist#1 |
⁕In reruns, some alternate camera angles are used, and a shot of Phil Hartman is replaced with the dress rehearsal version.
| Total Appearances | Characters | Impressions | Voices | Stills | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Hammer | 8 | 1 | |||
| Christina Ricci | 1 | 1 | |||
| Jimmy Workman | 1 | 1 | |||
| Dana Carvey | 4 | 1 | |||
| Chris Farley | 1 | ||||
| Phil Hartman | 7 | 4 | |||
| Victoria Jackson | 2 | ||||
| Mike Myers | 3 | ||||
| Kevin Nealon | 2 | ||||
| Chris Rock | 2 | 1 | 1 | ||
| Julia Sweeney | 2 | ||||
| Ellen Cleghorne | 5 | 2 | |||
| Siobhan Fallon | 1 | ||||
| Tim Meadows | 2 | 1 | |||
| Adam Sandler | 2 | ||||
| Rob Schneider | 2 | ||||
| David Spade | 1 | 1 | |||
| Beth Cahill | 1 | ||||
| Al Franken | Absent | ||||
| Melanie Hutsell | |||||
| Robert Smigel | Absent | ||||
| Jack Handey | 2 | 2 | |||
| Don Pardo | 2 | 2 | |||
| Andy Murphy | 1 | ||||
| Grafton True | 1 | ||||
| 53 | 7 | 3 | 8 |