| Cold Opening | Editorial Reply |
| Sketch | Gross-Out Family |
| Game Show | Game Beaters |
| Musical Performance | "Woyaho" |
| Show | The Global Warming Christmas Special |
| Show | P. Whipped |
| Musical Performance | "He Said" |
| Sketch | Repeating Guy “Saying Everything Twice” |
| Miscellaneous | Christmas Message |
| Cold Opening | Editorial Reply |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Mr. Subliminal Live |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
| Sketch | Gross-Out Family |
| Jan Hooks | ... | mother |
| Mike Myers | ... | son |
| Chris Farley | ... | Kevin |
| Julia Sweeney | ... | daughter |
| Game Show | Game Beaters |
| Dana Carvey | ... | guy Still |
| Phil Hartman | ... | guy Still |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Whip Trilby |
| Jan Hooks | ... | girl Still |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | Susan Carlisle |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | doctor Still |
| Nora Dunn | ... | girl Still |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
| Show | The Global Warming Christmas Special |
| Show | Sabra Shopping Network |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Boris |
| Phil Hartman | ... | caller Voice |
| Jan Hooks | ... | caller Voice |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | caller Voice |
| Rob Schneider | ... | caller Voice |
| Adam Sandler | ... | salesman |
| Robert Smigel | ... | Avi Voice |
| Sketch | Repeating Guy “Saying Everything Twice” |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Dr. Charles Whittaker |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | Mrs. Blanston |
| Show | Sabra Shopping Network |
| Tom Hanks | ... | Uri Shulenson#1 |
| Adam Sandler | ... | salesman#1 |
| Robert Smigel | ... | Avi#1 Voice |
| Weekend Update |
| Dana Carvey | ... |
Dennis Miller#5 Performs "Jingle Bells" |
| Tom Hanks | ... | Dennis Miller |
| Show | The Global Warming Christmas Special |
| Tom Hanks | ... | Dean Martin |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Paul McCartney#2 |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Issac Asimov |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Crystal Gayle |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | Sally Struthers |
| Mike Myers | ... | Carl Sagan |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | George Hamilton#2 |
| Chris Farley | ... | Dom DeLuise#1 |
| Julia Sweeney | ... | Petula Clark |
| Christine Zander | ... | Linda McCartney |
| Cold Opening | Editorial Reply |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Mr. Subliminal#6 Live |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
⁕In reruns, Don Pardo's opening voiceover is replaced with the dress rehearsal version.
| Monologue |
⁕In reruns, the shot of Tom Hanks opening the door is replaced with the dress rehearsal version. In the live show, he accidentally walks in front of the camera.
⁕In reruns, the portion where Paul Simon orders the "Joe Piscopo" is replaced with the dress rehearsal version, in which Steve Martin gives him a disapproving look and says "Really!"
⁕In reruns, some alternate camera angles are used.
| Sketch | Gross-Out Family |
| Tom Hanks | ... | father |
| Jan Hooks | ... | mother |
| Mike Myers | ... | son |
| Chris Farley | ... | Kevin |
| Julia Sweeney | ... | daughter |
⁕When Chris Farley closes the door, a spice rack falls off the wall.
⁕In reruns, the falling sound effects are removed from the time passage graphic.
| Game Show | Game Beaters |
| Tom Hanks | ... | Jeff Morrow#3 |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | guy Still |
| Tony Randall | ||
| Dana Carvey | ... | guy Still |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Whip Trilby |
| Phil Hartman | ... | guy Still |
| Jan Hooks | ... | girl Still |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | Susan Carlisle |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | doctor Still |
| Nora Dunn | ... | girl Still |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
⁕In reruns, Phil Hartman's dialogue after the lightning round is replaced with the dress rehearsal version. In the live show, he accidentally says "That's all the time for today".
⁕In reruns, some alternate camera angles are used.
| Musical Performance | "Woyaho" |
⁕In reruns, some alternate camera angles are used.
| Weekend Update |
| Dennis Miller | ||
| Dana Carvey | ... |
Dennis Miller#5 Performs "Jingle Bells" |
| Tom Hanks | ... | Dennis Miller |
⁕In reruns, a chyron of the current date is added after the title graphic.
♬John Lennon & Yoko Ono - "Instant Karma! (We All Shine On)"
| Show | The Global Warming Christmas Special |
| Tom Hanks | ... | Dean Martin |
| Ralph Nader | ||
| John Henry Kurtz | ... | announcer Voice |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Paul McCartney#2 |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Issac Asimov |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Crystal Gayle |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | Sally Struthers |
| Mike Myers | ... | Carl Sagan |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | George Hamilton#2 |
| Chris Farley | ... | Dom DeLuise#1 |
| Julia Sweeney | ... | Petula Clark |
| Christine Zander | ... | Linda McCartney |
| Show | P. Whipped |
| Tom Hanks | ... | Barry |
| Dana Carvey | ... | David |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Andrea |
| Mike Myers | ... | Paul |
| Don Pardo | Voice |
⁕The show's second sponsor, Maidenform For Men, is removed in reruns.
| Show | Sabra Shopping Network |
| Tom Hanks | ... | Uri Shulenson#1 |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Boris |
| Phil Hartman | ... | caller Voice |
| Jan Hooks | ... | caller Voice |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | caller Voice |
| Rob Schneider | ... | caller Voice |
| Adam Sandler | ... | salesman#1 |
| Robert Smigel | ... | Avi#1 Voice |
♬Jonathan Edwards - "Sunshine"
| Sketch | Repeating Guy “Saying Everything Twice” |
| Tom Hanks | ... | Mr. Blanston |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Dr. Charles Whittaker |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | Mrs. Blanston |
⁕In reruns, the last two scenes are replaced with the dress rehearsal version, in which Victoria Jackson breaks character due to Tom Hanks's facial expressions.
| Miscellaneous | Christmas Message |
⁕The set was used earlier for the George Hamilton scene in "The Global Warming Christmas Special".
| Total Appearances | Characters | Impressions | Voices | Stills | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Tom Hanks | 8 | 2 | 2 | ||
| Edie Brickell & New Bohemians | 2 | ||||
| Elliott Gould | 1 | ||||
| Jon Lovitz | 2 | 1 | |||
| Steve Martin | 1 | ||||
| Ralph Nader | 2 | ||||
| Tony Randall | 1 | ||||
| Paul Simon | 1 | ||||
| John Henry Kurtz | 1 | 1 | |||
| Dana Carvey | 5 | 2 | 1 | ||
| Phil Hartman | 4 | 1 | 1 | 1 | |
| Jan Hooks | 5 | 1 | 1 | 1 | |
| Victoria Jackson | 3 | 1 | |||
| Dennis Miller | 1 | ||||
| Mike Myers | 3 | 1 | |||
| Kevin Nealon | 4 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 1 |
| Chris Farley | 2 | 1 | |||
| Chris Rock | |||||
| Julia Sweeney | 2 | 1 | |||
| A. Whitney Brown | 1 | ||||
| Al Franken | |||||
| Rob Schneider | 1 | 1 | |||
| David Spade | |||||
| Nora Dunn | 1 | 1 | |||
| Conan O'Brien | 1 | ||||
| Don Pardo | 3 | 3 | |||
| Adam Sandler | 1 | 1 | |||
| Robert Smigel | 1 | 1 | 1 | ||
| Christine Zander | 1 | 1 | |||
| 58 | 5 | 12 | 9 | 6 |