| Cold Opening | A Message from the Speaker Elect |
| Sketch | Britney's Divorce |
| Sketch | Saddam's Defense Team |
| Sketch | Carpool |
| Cartoon | Kobayashi |
| Sketch | The Platinum Lounge |
| Musical Performance | "Ain't No Other Man" |
| Sketch | Brazilian Bar “Bossa Nova” |
| Musical Performance | "Hurt" |
| Miscellaneous | A Moment with the Out-Of-Breath Jogger from 1992 |
| Musical Performance | "Steppin' Out With My Baby" |
| Cold Opening | A Message from the Speaker Elect |
| Fred Armisen | ... | Filth |
| Will Forte | ... | Dana |
| Kristen Wiig | ... | Nancy Pelosi Live |
| Steve Higgins | ... | announcer Voice |
| Commercial |
| Fred Armisen | ... | user |
| Will Forte | ... | user |
| Amy Poehler | ... | date |
| Maya Rudolph | ... | date |
| Jason Sudeikis | ... | Cal Brandeis |
| Kenan Thompson | ... | user |
| Kristen Wiig | ... | date |
| Weekend Update |
| Amy Poehler | ||
| Seth Meyers | ||
| Seth Meyers |
Exclusive Interview | |
| Darrell Hammond | ... | Donald Rumsfeld |
| Kenan Thompson | ... | mover |
| Kristen Wiig | ... | Aunt Linda |
| Andy Samberg | ... |
Derrick Landerton /waiter Breaks down the cost of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes' dinner |
| Sketch | Brazilian Bar “Bossa Nova” |
| Fred Armisen | ... | singer |
| Amy Poehler | ... | patron |
| Maya Rudolph | ... | Regina |
| Andy Samberg | ... | patron |
| Jason Sudeikis | ... | bartender |
| Kristen Wiig | ... | patron |
| Miscellaneous | A Moment with the Out-Of-Breath Jogger from 1992 |
| Andy Samberg | ... | out-of-breath jogger |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
| Miscellaneous | A Moment with the Out-Of-Breath Jogger from 1992 |
| Cold Opening | A Message from the Speaker Elect |
| Fred Armisen | ... | Filth |
| Will Forte | ... | Dana |
| Kristen Wiig | ... | Nancy Pelosi#1 Live |
| Steve Higgins | ... | announcer Voice |
| Commercial |
| Fred Armisen | ... | user |
| Will Forte | ... | user |
| Amy Poehler | ... | date |
| Maya Rudolph | ... | date |
| Jason Sudeikis | ... | Cal Brandeis |
| Kenan Thompson | ... | user |
| Kristen Wiig | ... | date |
| Sketch | Saddam's Defense Team |
| Alec Baldwin | ... | Saddam Hussein#2 |
| Fred Armisen | ... | attorney |
| Bill Hader | ... | attorney |
♬Armand Amar - "Femmes De Taounate"
| Sketch | Carpool |
| Alec Baldwin | ... | coworker |
| Kristen Wiig | ... | coworker |
♬Celine Dion - "Where Does My Heart Beat Now"
♬Bobby McFerrin - "Don't Worry Be Happy"
| Cartoon | Kobayashi |
| Takeru Kobayashi | ||
| Yoshi Amao | Voice | |
| Ken Kasai | Voice | |
| Sakura Sugihai | Voice | |
| Kimmy Suzuki | Voice |
| Sketch | The Platinum Lounge |
| Weekend Update |
| Amy Poehler | ||
| Seth Meyers | ||
| Seth Meyers |
Exclusive Interview | |
| Darrell Hammond | ... | Donald Rumsfeld#10 |
| Kenan Thompson | ... | mover |
| Kristen Wiig | ... | Aunt Linda#1 |
| Andy Samberg | ... |
Derrick Landerton /waiter Breaks down the cost of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes' dinner |
⁕The Exclusive Interview segment is replaced with the dress rehearsal version in reruns.
♬WCPM All-Stars - "Sports Open Theme"
| Show |
| Alec Baldwin | ... | Tony Bennett#4 |
| Tony Bennett | ||
| Andy Samberg | ... | Kevin Federline#1 |
| Will Ferrell | ... | announcer Voice |
| Sketch | Brazilian Bar “Bossa Nova” |
| Alec Baldwin | ... | Rick Korman |
| Fred Armisen | ... | singer |
| Amy Poehler | ... | patron |
| Maya Rudolph | ... | Regina |
| Andy Samberg | ... | patron |
| Jason Sudeikis | ... | bartender |
| Kristen Wiig | ... | patron |
| Gunna Wilson | ... | patron |
⁕The parrot squawks, causing Maya Rudolph to briefly break character. The squawk is muted in reruns.
| Miscellaneous | A Moment with the Out-Of-Breath Jogger from 1992 |
| Andy Samberg | ... | out-of-breath jogger#2 |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
| Total Appearances | Characters | Impressions | Voices | Stills | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Alec Baldwin | 7 | 2 | |||
| Christina Aguilera | 3 | ||||
| Tony Bennett | 2 | ||||
| Tina Fey | 1 | ||||
| Steve Martin | 1 | ||||
| Paul McCartney | 1 | ||||
| Tracy Morgan | 1 | ||||
| Martin Short | 1 | ||||
| Takeru Kobayashi | 1 | ||||
| Yoshi Amao | 1 | 1 | |||
| Ken Kasai | 1 | 1 | |||
| Sakura Sugihai | 1 | 1 | |||
| Kimmy Suzuki | 1 | 1 | |||
| Fred Armisen | 4 | ||||
| Will Forte | 2 | ||||
| Bill Hader | 2 | ||||
| Darrell Hammond | 1 | 1 | |||
| Seth Meyers | 1 | ||||
| Amy Poehler | 5 | 1 | |||
| Maya Rudolph | 3 | ||||
| Andy Samberg | 4 | 1 | 1 | ||
| Jason Sudeikis | 3 | ||||
| Kenan Thompson | 2 | ||||
| Kristen Wiig | 5 | 1 | 1 | ||
| Will Ferrell | 1 | 1 | |||
| Steve Higgins | 1 | 1 | |||
| Don Pardo | 1 | 1 | |||
| Gunna Wilson | 1 | ||||
| 58 | 2 | 6 | 7 |