| Sketch | Closing Time |
| Dane Cook | ... | Deuce |
| Fred Armisen | ... | Gary |
| Will Forte | ... | patron |
| Bill Hader | ... | patron |
| Darrell Hammond | ... | patron |
| Amy Poehler | ... | Farrah Fawcett |
| Maya Rudolph | ... | patron |
| Andy Samberg | ... | patron |
| Jason Sudeikis | ... | T-Bird |
| Kenan Thompson | ... | patron |
| Kristen Wiig | ... | patron |