| Cold Opening | A Message From Hillary Rodham Clinton |
| Sketch | Bird Family |
| Show | E! News Daily |
| Sketch | Augustus General |
| Musical Performance | "Party Up" |
| Sketch | Erectile Dysfunction |
| Show | Savin' It |
| Musical Performance | "What's My Name" |
| Sketch | Hotel Bar |
| Cold Opening | A Message From Hillary Rodham Clinton |
| Ana Gasteyer | ... | Hillary Clinton |
| Darrell Hammond | ... | Bill Clinton Live |
| Chris Parnell | ... | announcer Voice |
| Sketch | Bird Family |
| Will Ferrell | ... | Cornelius Blake |
| Ana Gasteyer | ... | Mrs. Blake |
| Chris Kattan | ... | Nathan |
| Chris Parnell | ... | Paul |
| Show | E! News Daily |
| Sketch | Augustus General |
| Jimmy Fallon | ... | nurse |
| Ana Gasteyer | ... | wife |
| Darrell Hammond | ... | patient |
| Tim Meadows | ... | patient |
| Tracy Morgan | ... | patient |
| Cheri Oteri | ... | Nadeen |
| Chris Parnell | ... | patient |
| Weekend Update |
| Darrell Hammond | ... | announcer Voice |
| Colin Quinn | ||
| Cheri Oteri | ... | Joy Lipton |
| Sketch | Erectile Dysfunction |
| Will Ferrell | ... | Doug Anthony Kimballs |
| Darrell Hammond | ... | Tootsie Roll announcer Voice |
| Tim Meadows | ... | director |
| Chris Parnell | ... | announcer Voice |
| Horatio Sanz | ... | boom mic operator |
| Show | Savin' It |
| Jimmy Fallon | ... | Kevin |
| Will Ferrell | ... | Rick |
| Ana Gasteyer | ... | announcer Voice |
| Ana Gasteyer | ... | Kathy |
| Cheri Oteri | ... | Jessica Simpson |
| Horatio Sanz | ... | caller Voice |
| Rachel Dratch | ... | Brandy |
| Sketch | Hotel Bar |
| Jimmy Fallon | ... | Kip Bloater |
| Ana Gasteyer | ... | Claire |
| Chris Parnell | ... | Wayne Bloater |
| Commercial |
| Darrell Hammond | ... | William Shatner |
| Chris Parnell | ... | announcer Voice |
| John Zonars | ... | guitarist |
| Cold Opening | A Message From Hillary Rodham Clinton |
| Ana Gasteyer | ... | Hillary Clinton#11 |
| Darrell Hammond | ... | Bill Clinton#55 Live |
| Show | E! News Daily |
| Julianna Margulies | ... | Elizabeth Hurley |
| Will Ferrell | ... | Steve Kmetko#1 |
| Cheri Oteri | ... | Jules Asner |
| Horatio Sanz | ... | Elton John#1 |
| Molly Shannon | ... | Donatella Versace |
| Cold Opening | A Message From Hillary Rodham Clinton |
| Ana Gasteyer | ... | Hillary Clinton#11 |
| Darrell Hammond | ... | Bill Clinton#55 Live |
| Chris Parnell | ... | announcer Voice |
♬Billy Joel - "Captain Jack"
| Monologue |
| Julianna Margulies | ||
| Noah Wyle | ... | Manuel |
| Cheri Oteri | ... | nurse |
| Chris Parnell | ... | owner |
| Paula Pell |
| Sketch | Bird Family |
| Julianna Margulies | ... | Karen |
| Will Ferrell | ... | Cornelius Blake |
| Ana Gasteyer | ... | Mrs. Blake |
| Chris Kattan | ... | Nathan |
| Chris Parnell | ... | Paul |
⁕This sketch was almost cut after dress rehearsal because Julianna Margulies and the cast kept breaking character.
⁕Will Ferrell coughs while trying to chew his food and ad-libs "I'm upset!"
♬Aimee Man - "Wise Up"
♬Joe Cocker & Jennifer Warnes - "Up Where We Belong"
| Show | E! News Daily |
| Julianna Margulies | ... | Elizabeth Hurley |
| Will Ferrell | ... | Steve Kmetko#1 |
| Cheri Oteri | ... | Jules Asner |
| Horatio Sanz | ... | Elton John#1 |
| Molly Shannon | ... | Donatella Versace |
| Brett London | ... | Luca |
| Sketch | Augustus General |
| Julianna Margulies | ... | Dr. Montgomery |
| Jimmy Fallon | ... | nurse |
| Ana Gasteyer | ... | wife |
| Darrell Hammond | ... | patient |
| Tim Meadows | ... | patient |
| Tracy Morgan | ... | patient |
| Cheri Oteri | ... | Nadeen#2 |
| Chris Parnell | ... | patient |
⁕This sketch is replaced with the dress rehearsal version in reruns.
| Weekend Update |
| Darrell Hammond | ... | announcer Voice |
| Colin Quinn | ||
| Cheri Oteri | ... | Joy Lipton#1 |
| Sketch | Erectile Dysfunction |
| Julianna Margulies | ... | Hannah |
| Will Ferrell | ... | Doug Anthony Kimballs |
| Darrell Hammond | ... | Tootsie Roll announcer Voice |
| Tim Meadows | ... | director |
| Chris Parnell | ... | announcer Voice |
| Horatio Sanz | ... | boom mic operator |
⁕This sketch is replaced with the dress rehearsal version in reruns.
| Show | Savin' It |
| Julianna Margulies | ... | Heidi |
| Jimmy Fallon | ... | Kevin |
| Will Ferrell | ... | Rick |
| Ana Gasteyer | ... | Kathy |
| Ana Gasteyer | ... | announcer Voice |
| Cheri Oteri | ... | Jessica Simpson |
| Horatio Sanz | ... | caller Voice |
| Rachel Dratch | ... | Brandy |
♬Jessica Simpson - "Woman In Me"
| Sketch | Hotel Bar |
| Julianna Margulies | ... | Cindy |
| Jimmy Fallon | ... | Kip Bloater#1 |
| Ana Gasteyer | ... | Claire |
| Chris Parnell | ... | Wayne Bloater#1 |
| Sarah Chaney | ... | patron |
| Commercial |
| Darrell Hammond | ... | William Shatner#1 |
| Chris Parnell | ... | announcer Voice |
| John Zonars | ... | guitarist |
| Total Appearances | Characters | Impressions | Voices | Stills | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Julianna Margulies | 8 | 2 | |||
| DMX | 2 | ||||
| Noah Wyle | 1 | ||||
| Jimmy Fallon | 3 | 1 | |||
| Will Ferrell | 4 | 1 | |||
| Ana Gasteyer | 5 | 1 | 1 | ||
| Darrell Hammond | 5 | 2 | 2 | ||
| Chris Kattan | 2 | 1 | |||
| Tim Meadows | 2 | ||||
| Tracy Morgan | 1 | ||||
| Cheri Oteri | 6 | 2 | 2 | ||
| Chris Parnell | 8 | 1 | 3 | ||
| Colin Quinn | 1 | ||||
| Horatio Sanz | 3 | 1 | 1 | ||
| Molly Shannon | 1 | 1 | |||
| Rachel Dratch | 1 | ||||
| Paula Pell | 1 | ||||
| John Zonars | 1 | ||||
| Sarah Chaney | 1 | ||||
| Brett London | 1 | ||||
| 57 | 4 | 11 | 7 |