| Sketch | Evert vs. Navratilova |
| Chris Evert | ||
| Nora Dunn | ... | Martina Navratilova#1 |
| Phil Hartman | ... | agent |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | customer |
| Mike Myers | ... | agent |
⁕The music played during the newspaper montages was previously used for Saturday Night News from 1982 to 1984.
♬John Cameron - "Tall Ships"
♬Louis Clark - "Majestic Panorama"