| Cold Opening | Drill Sergeant “Nicknames” |
| Sketch | The Liberal |
| Musical Performance | "What I Am" |
| Show | Dukakis After Dark |
| Game Show | Win, Lose Or Tie |
| Musical Performance | "Little Miss S" |
| Cold Opening | Drill Sergeant “Nicknames” |
| Dana Carvey | ... | soldier |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Sergeant McCarthy Live |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Brotsky |
| Dennis Miller | ... | soldier |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Bennett |
| A. Whitney Brown | ... | soldier |
| Sketch | The Liberal |
| Nora Dunn | ... | Mrs. Haldrich |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Mr. Haldrich |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | Shannon |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Billy |
| Dennis Miller | ... | Kit |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
| Weekend Update |
| Dennis Miller | ||
| Al Franken |
Illustration of the Electoral College | |
| A. Whitney Brown |
| Show | Dukakis After Dark |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Jimmy Carter |
| Nora Dunn | ... | Joan Baez |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Ted Kennedy |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Kitty Dukakis |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | Donna Rice |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Michael Dukakis |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | LeRoy Neiman |
| Tony Garnier | ... | bassist |
| Cheryl Hardwick | ... | pianist |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
| Stephen Vause | ... | Willie Horton |
| Game Show | Win, Lose Or Tie |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Bert Convy |
| Nora Dunn | ... | Karen Kruger |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Burt Reynolds |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Constance Gregory |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | Nicole Gibson |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Andy Breslow |
| Show | Dukakis After Dark |
| Matthew Modine | ... | Lloyd Bentsen |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Jimmy Carter#1 |
| Nora Dunn | ... | Joan Baez#2 |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Ted Kennedy#2 |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Kitty Dukakis#2 |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | Donna Rice |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Michael Dukakis#4 |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | LeRoy Neiman |
| Stephen Vause | ... | Willie Horton |
| Cold Opening | Drill Sergeant “Nicknames” |
| Matthew Modine | ... | Einstein |
| Dana Carvey | ... | soldier |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Sergeant McCarthy Live |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Brotsky |
| Dennis Miller | ... | soldier |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Bennett |
| A. Whitney Brown | ... | soldier |
⁕In reruns, several seconds are replaced with the dress rehearsal version.
♬Ennio Morricone - "Algeri: 1 Novembre 1954"
| Monologue |
⁕In reruns, Matthew Modine's narration over the movie photos and clip is replaced with the dress rehearsal version, a different photo is used for "The Color Purple", and the subtitles on the photos are removed.
| Commercial |
| Grafton True | ... | Ernie Daniels |
| Joe Tom Collins | ... | Russell Carney |
| Gregory Daniels | ... | member |
| Bob Odenkirk | ... | member |
| Sketch | The Liberal |
| Matthew Modine | ... | Elliot Waxman |
| Nora Dunn | ... | Mrs. Haldrich |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Mr. Haldrich |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | Shannon |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Billy |
| Dennis Miller | ... | Kit |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
⁕The drain pipe scene and the time passage graphics are shortened in reruns.
| Show |
| Matthew Modine | ... | Steve Barnes |
| Morton Downey Jr. | ||
| Dana Carvey | ... | Church Lady#12 |
| Phil Hartman | ... | announcer Voice |
⁕Some of Morton Downey Jr.'s dialogue is replaced with the dress rehearsal version in reruns.
⁕Dana Carvey accidentally says "the body, uh, the bible says..." This is fixed in reruns.
| Weekend Update |
| Dennis Miller | ||
| Al Franken |
Illustration of the Electoral College | |
| A. Whitney Brown |
⁕A crew member is briefly seen on camera setting up the whiteboard for Al Franken's segment. When Dennis Miller notices the mistake, he ad-libs "TV vérité".
♬The Doors - "Who Do You Love"
| Show | Dukakis After Dark |
| Matthew Modine | ... | Lloyd Bentsen |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Jimmy Carter#1 |
| Nora Dunn | ... | Joan Baez#2 |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Ted Kennedy#2 |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Kitty Dukakis#2 |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | Donna Rice |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Michael Dukakis#4 |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | LeRoy Neiman |
| Tony Garnier | ... | bassist |
| Cheryl Hardwick | ... | pianist |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
| Stephen Vause | ... | Willie Horton |
| Alicia Coppola | ... | guest |
| Game Show | Win, Lose Or Tie |
| Matthew Modine | ... | Bill McIvin |
| John Henry Kurtz | ... | announcer Voice |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Bert Convy |
| Nora Dunn | ... | Karen Kruger |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Burt Reynolds#1 |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Constance Gregory |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | Nicole Gibson |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Andy Breslow |
♬Parry Music - "Entracte"
| Commercial |
| John Henry Kurtz | ... | announcer Voice |
♬Robert Mandell Orcestra & The Satin Saxophones - "You're the Cream in My Coffee"
| Total Appearances | Characters | Impressions | Voices | Stills | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Matthew Modine | 7 | 1 | |||
| Edie Brickell & New Bohemians | 2 | ||||
| Morton Downey Jr. | 1 | ||||
| Grafton True | 1 | ||||
| John Henry Kurtz | 2 | 2 | |||
| Dana Carvey | 5 | 2 | 2 | ||
| Nora Dunn | 3 | 1 | |||
| Phil Hartman | 5 | 2 | 1 | ||
| Jan Hooks | 2 | 1 | |||
| Victoria Jackson | 3 | 1 | |||
| Jon Lovitz | 4 | 1 | |||
| Dennis Miller | 3 | ||||
| Kevin Nealon | 3 | 1 | 1 | ||
| A. Whitney Brown | 2 | ||||
| Al Franken | 1 | ||||
| Joe Tom Collins | 1 | ||||
| Gregory Daniels | 1 | ||||
| Tony Garnier | 1 | ||||
| Cheryl Hardwick | 1 | ||||
| Bob Odenkirk | 1 | ||||
| Don Pardo | 2 | 2 | |||
| Stephen Vause | 1 | 1 | |||
| Alicia Coppola | 1 | ||||
| 53 | 3 | 11 | 5 |