| Cold Opening | Alien Dukakis |
| Sketch | Dan Quayle: President Chapter One: The First Five Minutes |
| Show | Portrait Of The Artist |
| Sketch | Pete's Fountain |
| Musical Performance | "It's Money That Matters" |
| Sketch | Sex Life |
| Musical Performance | "Dixie Flyer" |
| Show | This Old House |
| Show | Gay Communist Gun Club |
| Cold Opening | Alien Dukakis |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Mr. Krog |
| Nora Dunn | ... | Queen Phonobia |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Mr. Zarko |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Susan Estrich |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Michael Dukakis Live |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Lloyd Bentsen |
| Sketch | Dan Quayle: President Chapter One: The First Five Minutes |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Dan Quayle |
| Phil Hartman | ... | William J. Crowe Still |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | secretary Voice |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Michael Deaver |
| Show | Portrait Of The Artist |
| Dana Carvey | ... | host |
| Nora Dunn | ... | patron |
| Phil Hartman | ... | announcer Voice |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Mr. Dingle /Roshenbau |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | young artist |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Pablo Picasso |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | waiter |
| Weekend Update |
| Dennis Miller | ||
| Al Franken | ... |
Lyndon LaRouche
Commentary on the presidential candidates |
| Kevin Nealon |
Statement on the presidential race | |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Dennis Miller |
| Sketch | Sex Life |
| Nora Dunn | ... | Cheryl |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Bill |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | Jackie |
| Tom Davis | ... | patron |
| Musical Performance | "Dixie Flyer" |
| Show | Gay Communist Gun Club |
| Dana Carvey | ... | caller Voice |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Bob |
| Jan Hooks | ... | caller Voice |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | caller Voice |
| Al Franken | ... | caller Voice |
| Tom Davis | ... | caller Voice |
| Jim Downey | ... | caller Voice |
| Cold Opening | Alien Dukakis |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Susan Estrich |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Michael Dukakis Live |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Lloyd Bentsen |
| Sketch | Dan Quayle: President Chapter One: The First Five Minutes |
| John Larroquette | ... | James Baker |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Dan Quayle |
| Phil Hartman | ... | William J. Crowe Still |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Michael Deaver |
| Weekend Update |
| Al Franken | ... |
Lyndon LaRouche
Commentary on the presidential candidates |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Dennis Miller |
| Cold Opening | Alien Dukakis |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Mr. Krog |
| Nora Dunn | ... | Queen Phonobia |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Mr. Zarko |
| Jan Hooks | ... | Susan Estrich |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Michael Dukakis Live |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Lloyd Bentsen |
| Sketch | Dan Quayle: President Chapter One: The First Five Minutes |
| John Larroquette | ... | James Baker |
| John Henry Kurtz | ... | narrator Voice |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Dan Quayle |
| Phil Hartman | ... | William J. Crowe Still |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | secretary Voice |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Michael Deaver |
⁕Most of this sketch is replaced with the dress rehearsal version in reruns.
| Show | Portrait Of The Artist |
| Dana Carvey | ... | host |
| Nora Dunn | ... | patron |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Mr. Dingle /Roshenbau |
| Phil Hartman | ... | announcer Voice |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | young artist |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | Pablo Picasso |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | waiter |
| Sketch | Pete's Fountain |
| John Larroquette | ... | Frank |
| Nora Dunn | ... | Helene |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Ed |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Russ |
⁕This sketch is replaced with the dress rehearsal version in reruns.
| Musical Performance | "It's Money That Matters" |
| Weekend Update |
| Dennis Miller | ||
| Al Franken | ... |
Lyndon LaRouche
Commentary on the presidential candidates |
| Kevin Nealon |
Statement on the presidential race | |
| Dana Carvey | ... | Dennis Miller |
♬Midnight Oil - "Beds Are Burning"
| Sketch | Sex Life |
| John Larroquette | ... | Bob |
| Nora Dunn | ... | Cheryl |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Bill |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | Jackie |
| Tom Davis | ... | patron |
| Andy Murphy | ... | patron |
| Musical Performance | "Dixie Flyer" |
| Show | This Old House |
| John Larroquette | ... | Bob Vila |
| Victoria Jackson | ... | Peggy McGuinness |
| Kevin Nealon | ... | Tom McGuinness |
| Show | Gay Communist Gun Club |
| John Larroquette | ... | host |
| Dana Carvey | ... | caller Voice |
| Phil Hartman | ... | Bob |
| Jan Hooks | ... | caller Voice |
| Jon Lovitz | ... | caller Voice |
| Al Franken | ... | caller Voice |
| Tom Davis | ... | caller Voice |
| Jim Downey | ... | caller Voice |
| Total Appearances | Characters | Impressions | Voices | Stills | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| John Larroquette | 7 | 2 | |||
| Mark Knopfler | 3 | ||||
| Randy Newman | 2 | ||||
| John Henry Kurtz | 4 | 4 | |||
| Dana Carvey | 6 | 2 | 1 | ||
| Nora Dunn | 4 | ||||
| Phil Hartman | 7 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 1 |
| Jan Hooks | 2 | 1 | 1 | ||
| Victoria Jackson | 5 | 1 | |||
| Jon Lovitz | 3 | 2 | 1 | ||
| Dennis Miller | 1 | ||||
| Kevin Nealon | 6 | 2 | |||
| A. Whitney Brown | |||||
| Al Franken | 2 | 1 | 1 | ||
| Tom Davis | 2 | 1 | |||
| Lew Del Gatto | 1 | ||||
| Jim Downey | 1 | 1 | |||
| Alex Foster | 1 | ||||
| Earl Gardner | 1 | ||||
| Tony Garnier | 2 | ||||
| Cheryl Hardwick | 1 | ||||
| Don Pardo | 1 | 1 | |||
| Chris Parker | 2 | ||||
| Leon Pendarvis | 2 | ||||
| Lenny Pickett | 1 | ||||
| G.E. Smith | 2 | ||||
| Steve Turre | 1 | ||||
| Andy Murphy | 1 | ||||
| 71 | 1 | 11 | 13 | 1 |