| Sketch | Crime and Self-Punishment |
| Sid Caesar | ... | Julius Swell |
| Robin Duke | ... | Sarah Fricke Swell |
| Mary Gross | ... | Mary Tupper Swell |
| Brad Hall | ... | Lawrence Arthur Lawrence |
| Tim Kazurinsky | ... | Louis Morton Swell |
| Gary Kroeger | ... | Arthur Lawrence Arthur |
| Julia Louis-Dreyfus | ... | guest |
| Paul Barrosse | ... | servant |