| Sketch | Anchovy Council of America |
| Teri Garr | ... | Sue Perron |
| Jane Curtin | ... | Christina |
| Tom Davis | ... | executive |
| Yvonne Hudson | ... | commercial actress |
| Garrett Morris | ... | commercial actor |
| Bill Murray | ... | Don |
| Don Novello | ... | Sal |
| Harry Shearer | ... | John Kinchlow |