| Cold Opening | "Help Me Make It Through The Night" |
| Musical Performance | "Hula Hoop" |
| Sketch | Ford Delegate |
| Sketch | Police State |
| Miscellaneous | Bobby McGee |
| Sketch | Blind Date |
| Musical Performance | "Eddie the Eunuch" |
| Sketch | Carter-Young |
| Sketch | Waiting for Pardo |
| Musical Performance | "I've Got a Life of My Own" |
| Sketch | Police State |
| Dan Aykroyd | ... | Kevin Brut |
| John Belushi | ... | tenant |
| Chevy Chase | ... | Aramis McCord |
| Garrett Morris | ... | criminal |
| Michael O'Donoghue | ... | Jeremy Musk Voice |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
| Weekend Update |
| Chevy Chase | ||
| Don Pardo | Voice | |
| Laraine Newman |
Report from Nassau instead of NASA | |
| Chevy Chase |
| Cold Opening | "Help Me Make It Through The Night" |
| Sketch | Samurai General Practitioner |
| Kris Kristofferson | ||
| John Belushi | ... | Samurai Futaba |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
| Sketch | Ford Delegate |
| Kris Kristofferson | ... | Frank Wade |
| Chevy Chase | ... | Gerald Ford |
| Jane Curtin | ... | Betty Ford |
| Don Pardo | ... | aide Voice |
| Sketch | Police State |
| Kris Kristofferson | ... | criminal |
| Dan Aykroyd | ... | Kevin Brut |
| John Belushi | ... | tenant |
| Chevy Chase | ... | Aramis McCord |
| Garrett Morris | ... | criminal |
| Michael O'Donoghue | ... | Jeremy Musk Voice |
| Don Pardo | ... | announcer Voice |
⁕The last names in the credits are all car models.
| Weekend Update |
| Chevy Chase | ||
| Don Pardo | Voice | |
| Laraine Newman |
Report from Nassau instead of NASA | |
| Chevy Chase |
| Miscellaneous | Bobby McGee |
| Sketch | Waiting for Pardo |
| Kris Kristofferson | ... | Vladimir |
| Chevy Chase | ... | Estragon |
| Garrett Morris | ... | host |
| Don Pardo | Voice |
| Total Appearances | Characters | Impressions | Voices | Stills | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Kris Kristofferson | 11 | ||||
| Rita Coolidge | 4 | ||||
| Dan Aykroyd | 2 | 1 | |||
| John Belushi | 3 | 2 | |||
| Chevy Chase | 5 | 1 | |||
| George Coe | |||||
| Jane Curtin | 2 | 1 | |||
| Garrett Morris | 4 | 2 | |||
| Laraine Newman | 3 | 1 | |||
| Gilda Radner | 2 | 1 | |||
| Michael O'Donoghue | 1 | 1 | |||
| Don Pardo | 6 | 6 | |||
| 43 | 4 | 5 | 7 |